rafaelcasd wrote:
I have been absent for a few weeks, the reason for this is that my closest family and best friend of 24 years has passed onto a better place.
Abner came to live at my house 24 years ago at age 18, completed the last year of high school at San Marcos, received an associate degree in theater at San Diego City College and worked at the nearby California Center for the Arts. After his dad passed from a long illness he left for medical school in Mexico, nearly completed his studies but had to come back to California after a violent kidnapping.
Not one to be defeated, he became a Nurse Assistant, then a Licensed Vocational Nurse, then a Registered nurse with a Bachelor of Nursing degree. At the time of his passing Abner was one year away from Masters in Nursing and becoming an independent Advanced Practice Nurse with his own clinic.
Abner worked hospice and was incredibly compassionate and effective helping families and the patient through the process of dying, he often came back telling me the life stories that patients confided on him, his patients did not suffer and the families were helped to find peace. Abner nearly died during the Mexico kidnapping, but having seen death he became an Angel of care for those dying.
Abner became the son I never had, lived in my home whenever he was not away at school, included me in all aspects of his life, and had many friends who loved him dearly and whose love was extended to me.
I wanted to convey some sense of who Abner was, but pictures are worth 1000 words.
(Nikkor on Nikon of course)
Here he is producing Don Quijote in Tijuana, every costume and the set was made by him. I financed his productions and we never made any money but it was great fun.
rafaelcasd wrote:
I have been absent for a few weeks, the reason for this is that my closest family and best friend of 24 years has passed onto a better place.
Abner came to live at my house 24 years ago at age 18, completed the last year of high school at San Marcos, received an associate degree in theater at San Diego City College and worked at the nearby California Center for the Arts. After his dad passed from a long illness he left for medical school in Mexico, nearly completed his studies but had to come back to California after a violent kidnapping.
Not one to be defeated, he became a Nurse Assistant, then a Licensed Vocational Nurse, then a Registered nurse with a Bachelor of Nursing degree. At the time of his passing Abner was one year away from Masters in Nursing and becoming an independent Advanced Practice Nurse with his own clinic.
Abner worked hospice and was incredibly compassionate and effective helping families and the patient through the process of dying, he often came back telling me the life stories that patients confided on him, his patients did not suffer and the families were helped to find peace. Abner nearly died during the Mexico kidnapping, but having seen death he became an Angel of care for those dying.
Abner became the son I never had, lived in my home whenever he was not away at school, included me in all aspects of his life, and had many friends who loved him dearly and whose love was extended to me.
I wanted to convey some sense of who Abner was, but pictures are worth 1000 words.
(Nikkor on Nikon of course)
Here he is producing Don Quijote in Tijuana, every costume and the set was made by him. I financed his productions and we never made any money but it was great fun.
GeorgeBo wrote:
I forgot I did shoot one with a Nikkor. Had the Noct adapted to the Fuji in my bag and shot one before switching to the wide angle. 15 sec was a little long for a 58mm lens so the stars are not as sharp as they could be. Also wide open.
George
Very nice, Is that a satellite or a meteor in the lower left?
Oh and Nippi is back in the mailstream again, third time's the charm, eh?
Seems the address to where it was going slipped behind the sticker that was put on there and they couldn't figure out to move the slip of paper to see the TO.
So, I re-positioned the paper and taped it into place, and highlighted the from and to.
kwoodard wrote:
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Although not blood related, I can’t imagine how it feels to lose a child. Some of the best family I have are not blood related, so I get the sentiment. Your pictures are a lovely tribute to someone who was obviously important in your life. I remember seeing him show up in your pictures over the years. You and yours are in my thoughts.
Kevin, Thank you for your kind words, you express clearly how we love people that we meet along the road of life. Some of them choose to walk alongside and make our life better. I was very fortunate that Abner did just that.
Rafael
pbraymond wrote:
Rafael, condolences on your loss. Sounds like he was a special young man..
Ray, it sounds like a worn phrase, but it is a true one; Abner was unique and I was very fortunate to have him become family and bring many people and much love to this home. Thank you.
Rafael
James Markus wrote:
Rafael,
What a profound loss. I pray you can find peace and fond memories soon.
Jim
Jim, the pain does not diminish with time, the initial shock becomes something different, a deep appreciation of the blessings received and permanent proof of the importance of the lost person in your life. Memories are multitude, recorded with manual Nikkors , will occasionally post some of them here as a celebration of their joy.
Appreciatively
Rafael
Kingfishphoto wrote:
Rafael, sorry for your loss. Your story also tells us what a great caring person you are. That young man had more than just a friend in San Diego.
Harry Palmer
Thank you Harry, Abner became family and brought many people and many joys into my life. The deep sorrow his absence generates is the best tribute I can give him.
Rafael
saph wrote:
Rafael, very sorry to hear about your loss.
Thank you Samy, we all grieve deeply the loss of a loved one, and this is concrete evidence of how much they were loved, I can only hope they can perceive it,
CGrindahl wrote:
I am deeply moved Rafael. What a beautiful young man and what a precious relationship! At the moment I'm doing graphic design for a newsletter published for the Living/Dying Project where I have volunteered for the last 26 years. The cover story is about another volunteer, a good friend, who will die soon, likely from exposure to agent orange during his 400 days as a marine in Vietnam. Your dear friend was doing incredibly valuable work. What a shame his life ended so early.
I love the photo of the two of you dressed so handsomely. I can feel the sweetness of your connection with one another. I imagine you have a great deal of support around you. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. In a way, this community has become a bit like family for many of us. I certainly feel that as I return to spend a bit of time with all of you. Blessings my friend.
Let me add a quote I'm using in the newsletter I'm working on at the moment.
I resumed working on the newsletter and found another quote I'm using that is apropos to this moment.
Curtis, thanks for your kind message, your own work brings along an understanding of Abner's. He was far more that a nurse administering medication, he was often the last new friend for a terminal patient. Abner brought with him a bright light of hope, peace and comfort, evidenced by the many life stories told to him at the last bedside, My favorite story was that of a 101 year old Jewish family matriarch, mother and grandmother of many physicians who, used to caring for healing patients, challenged his hospice practices; Abner convinced them of their validity and proceeded to make that great-grandmother comfortable. After seeing Abner work, enabling a peaceful passing, the 80 year old son became Abner's friend and invited him to become a part of their medical charity in Mexico. A charity he came to love.
On another occasion, he cared for a lady who had been a communist guerrilla in El Salvador in the 1980s. During their conversations Abner told her about me and was surprised to hear that my family name was anathema to the once young guerrilla, as my rather economically successful extended family was considered by her to be one of the reasons people were oppressed. Yes, so many shared experiences and memories.
Rafael:
What a truly touching story.
While the pain of his loss must be difficult, at the same time, what a blessing to have had such a special person in your life for 24 years!.
May you find that same peace he was able to impart to his patients.
Warmest regards
Doug
, will occasionally post some of them here as a celebration of their joy.