Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

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xcentric1
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p.1 #1 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

I have a dilemma that I'm hoping some of my fellow photographers may help me with or have faced. The problem is, what do you guys do when you go on vacation to places with your wife that are full of beautiful photo ops(Yosemite), and thats all you want to do while your there is take pictures. Yet she's there with you, and feels she's just tagging along with you and your camera. We're only going for three days and dont know when I'll return.

I LOVE photography, and Yosemite is a photographers dream come true. Yet my wife will become annoyed quickly because I'll be taking too long composing and traveling with all my gear. Her and I have spoken about this recently and I was hoping I'd get her understanding how I feel. I cant just NOT take pictures while we're there. I think she'd prefer me to be like most people who take snap shots of places as they go with no regard to lighting conditions or composition. I think I'd rather just leave the camera home opposed to doing such a thing.

I know this sounds like a selfish cry for help. And I truly understand my wifes point of view. But can someone help me, is there a happy median where everyone can be happy

Regards, Justin

Apr 20, 2008 at 10:02 PM

Russ Isabella
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p.1 #2 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Well, three days doesn't give you much time, but it wouldn't seem unreasonable to me to try to carve out a few hours for yourself (if your wife does not want to be a part of it) during one of the days you are there, and during this time, it will be about nothing but photogrpahing. The rest of the time, you leave your camera locked up in your room. It's called compromise

and relationships require it. It'd be great if your wife was willing to come along with you during your "selfish" photography time, so that you didn't have to feel like you were abandoning her, and of course she'd have the benefit of seeing what you're seeing during that time, and you'd be together. You'd be making a bit of a 'sacrifice' during the other times when you'd be seeing things you wish you could photograph, but can't. And I'd suggest that this is going to have to be an ongoing negotiation between the two of you. Now if you want to shoot sunrise somewhere in the park and your wife enjoys sleeping in, then that's a freebie for you!

Apr 20, 2008 at 10:39 PM

xcentric1
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p.1 #3 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Thanks Russ, obviously words spoken from experience. Or at least you understand relationships. Maybe part of my problem is we've only been married a year, so this might go beyond photography.

What you said about sunrises I already had that in mind. That bad part is, where we're staying is like an hour from Yosemite valley. Which means after the sunrise shoot I'd have to drive back to go get her. Compromise right.

Apr 20, 2008 at 11:15 PM

watkinssr
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p.1 #4 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

tell her you want to take photos of her, then crop her out.

Apr 20, 2008 at 11:27 PM

Craig Yannuzzi
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p.1 #5 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

watkinssr wrote:
tell her you want to take photos of her, then crop her out.

Very funny!

Apr 21, 2008 at 12:23 AM

dcains
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p.1 #6 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Buy her a camera!

Apr 21, 2008 at 01:06 AM

KABeach
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p.1 #7 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Sorry, I can't help you - my wife has the patients of a saint when it comes to my photography - she once sat in the desert with me for 2 days while I was shooting in Monument Valley...

Best of luck finding a solution for the two of you!

Cheers,
Ken

Apr 21, 2008 at 01:39 AM

watkinssr
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p.1 #8 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Craig Yannuzzi wrote:
watkinssr wrote:
tell her you want to take photos of her, then crop her out.

Very funny!
It seemed obvious...Maybe I've been married too long....

Apr 21, 2008 at 03:29 AM

Steve Spencer
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p.1 #9 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

To try to seriously answer your question, I would suggest talking to your wife and see if she won't agree to set part of each day aside to let you take pictures. What might makes sense is to set aside the golden hours (sunrise and an hour or two after and sunset and an hour or two before) to take pictures and then spend all of the rest of the day doing stuff with her and let her pick what she wants to do during those other times. Seems like a reasonable compromise to me. Good luck.

Apr 21, 2008 at 05:22 AM

EOS20
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p.1 #10 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

dcains wrote:
Buy her a camera!

I was thinking the same thing. If she can't beat you, She might as well join you!

Other then that, Just shoot early in the morning, And late in the afternoon (When the lighting is at it's best) And spent the hours when the light isn't that great with your wife!

Apr 21, 2008 at 04:43 PM

xcentric1
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p.1 #11 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

EOS20 wrote:
dcains wrote:
Buy her a camera!

I was thinking the same thing. If she can't beat you, She might as well join you!

Other then that, Just shoot early in the morning, And late in the afternoon (When the lighting is at it's best) And spent the hours when the light isn't that great with your wife!

I'm upgrading soon and I tried to get her on the D70, not interested. She loves that Canon Powershot

I think I'm gonna do what everyone is saying- Shoot at sunrise/sunset and be with her during day (while I scope out places to shoot)

Edited by xcentric1 on Apr 21, 2008 at 08:54 AM GMT

Edited on Apr 21, 2008 at 04:54 PM

Apr 21, 2008 at 04:54 PM

claudermilk
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p.1 #12 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Like Russ said, it's all about compromise. My wife is also very patient with my habit. I try to keep the time I spend on taking shots reasonable, and there are times where as much as I'd like to shoot, I just leave the camera put away.

Two things that help with her patience is that we both like to take it slow at these kinds of places and enjoy being out there, which gives me some time to set up shots. The other is that she is developing a bit of an eye & while she isn't interested enough to learn the technicalities of photography & pick up a DSLR herself, she is looking with a photographer's eye, and has found a number of really nice shots I might have missed, so it's becoming a team effort. That keeps the interest & patience level higher.

The hardest part for her is the mornings I want to get up & out there really early when she'd rather sleep in. I do all the driving, so she can nap on the way to the location & nap on the way back. I do feel a bit guilty dragging her out at o'dark early, so I try to limit the early mornings as much as I can.

Apr 21, 2008 at 04:54 PM

Rebel Guy
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p.1 #13 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

I'll go with you instead...I'll leave my wife at home!

Apr 21, 2008 at 05:41 PM

Harvey Moore
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p.1 #14 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Bigamy: One wife too many
Monogamy: Same thing

Apr 22, 2008 at 06:12 AM

mmurph
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p.1 #15 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

I never get good photos on family vacations, especially now that I have a son.

Before that I could go off for 3-4 hours in Mexico, etc. and work when *my wife* had something *she* wanted to do.

Otherwise take family snaps. Then book a 5 day cheap vacation somewhere where you do photography sun-up to sun-down, buy a pizza, crash at the hotel, wake up and repeat. I do at least 2-3 of those a year. Lately it has been 1 small trip per month during summer/nice weather.

Good luck!

Best,
Michael

Apr 22, 2008 at 01:11 PM

monochrome
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p.1 #16 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

watkinssr wrote:

It seemed obvious...Maybe I've been married too long....

Or not much longer.

Apr 23, 2008 at 02:46 AM

monochrome
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p.1 #17 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

My wife is great, she nows that I HAVE to shot, if I don't I'll go nuts. So I take off for a few hours myself and then come back to the family.

Apr 23, 2008 at 02:48 AM

watkinssr
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p.1 #18 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

monochrome wrote:
watkinssr wrote:

It seemed obvious...Maybe I've been married too long....

Or not much longer.

Heh...

Apr 24, 2008 at 02:47 AM

Rick Schump
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p.1 #19 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

get up and shoot early come back and make coffee for her , find a nice sunset for her , a bottle of wine -shoot the sunset and drink till the stars come out

Apr 24, 2008 at 09:36 PM

Craig Gillette
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p.1 #20 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

You need to be there with her, not there with your camera. Put the camera away. Don't make frantic death marches, speeding from turnout to turnout to get the camera out and then rush off again.

Find local sunrise opportunities or stay in bed.

My wife tolerates some of the rush, recognizing that there is some timing to some of this. But she expects vacations are a time to relax and enjoy. She isn't a photographer. She likes seeing me enjoy it, she likes seeing good results. She liked sharing stories and pictures at work with a couple of guys who are "semi-pros" - weekend warriors. She and my daughter are happy with a point and shoot to share. The daughter is somewhat more visual, but she's very willing to pace herself. My wife loves pictures as a social opportunity - sitting around the living room with her mom and sisters and others passing the pictures around. Gathering around the ol'crt just isn't the same for her.

But we will be taking some trips where she wants to go and doing what she wants to do - and that's what some might say is nothing. Relax. Sit. Read. The advantage of reading is she can and will read quietly for reasonable periods in beautiful places.

Make the vacation for the two of you, not the three of you.

Warning, I think I know what I should do but don't do it very well either.

Edited on Apr 25, 2008 at 04:45 AM

Apr 25, 2008 at 04:41 AM

claudermilk
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p.1 #21 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Rick Schump wrote:
get up and shoot early come back and make coffee for her , find a nice sunset for her , a bottle of wine -shoot the sunset and drink till the stars come out

Apr 25, 2008 at 03:11 PM

Paul Gardner
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p.1 #22 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Make reservations at the Awanee Hotel for dinner. This is a once in a lifetime experience. Plan to dress for dinner. Afer that evening you have so many ataboys you can allmost do anything with the rest of the trip. Just remember 1 ah-**** cancels 100 ataboys so thread carefully.

Apr 27, 2008 at 12:36 AM

44lefty
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p.1 #23 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

The only compromise that keeps you happy, is to say: "yes, dear." Smile and then do what she wants. Take a vacation. Do not extend your work week. Otherwise you will burn out quickly.

Larry

Apr 27, 2008 at 07:19 PM

John Power
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p.1 #24 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Repeat after me "day spa"

Apr 27, 2008 at 11:06 PM

Sam tran
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p.1 #25 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

I've been there, done that, and my solution is get up real early to do my photo-op, then use a P&S camera to go out with her during the day, get her to eat late lunch so I can go out again by myself during the sunset hour, then come back for dinner with her. The idea of giving her a camera is not bad either, as my wife started to enjoy it as she took pictures for other tourists and get the compliments from them that she did get their beautiful picture! So train her & buy a P&S camera (or your second hand DSLR). Last but not least, for those still single guy - get to know the (single) female in this FM and you might be happy ever after (unless she always get the brand new toys and give you the 2nd hand !

May 01, 2008 at 05:42 PM


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