I was with my twins- in Hiroshima and I saw them both staring at what used to be the Civic Center during the A-bomb dropping. My mother lived though this part of the war, so the family history is strong. Besides that- I grabbed my camera and took the shot. I think I saw "a perfect picture" moment. I love this picture for what it represents- but feed back on composition and so forth would be great so the next time will be better.
This reminds me of when I was viewing the Pearl Harbor exhibit. A deep emotional connection is felt but hard to convey in a photo. It will probably bring back memories for you of the moment and reconnect the feeling. This happens for me with a lot of my images, but others can't make the emotional leap.
Its a two part thing, it requires both a memory and the image which triggers it. Hard to supply the memory for those who don't have it.
Technically I wish the building was more in focus I would apply some distortion correction to fix the fence rail and I would clone out the tree leaves at the right.
I would rather critique, in terms of composition etc, less personal, and potentially emotionally charged photos than this.
It's not an ideal teaching/learning scenario.
You do however have an image that means a lot to you, although technically it's not great. The fact that you love the image makes it wonderful and valuable.
I can appreciate the desire to be able to do it better, to carry across more of the feeling of that moment. I just don't feel comfortable degrading(by picking fault, albeit to suggest improvements) something with obvious value to you.
Could it have been done better by you at that moment in time? Probably not.
Do you really want to look at it through other peoples eyes, purely on its technical merits?
Thank you both for the comments. Composition wise- yes I do want "suggestion" or constructive criticism. Emotional values aside- Maybe I could have shot the image from a lower angle... But I don't mind better photographers telling me how to compose it better or anything I could have done better.
Karen's crop is exactly what I thought when I viewed the image. Less clutter on the sides. I DO feel the emotion you were experiencing and I believe it is conveyed through the image. What might have added to the effect, but also brought in more clutter unfortunately, would have been a vertical shot with the girls with their arms around each other, or holding hands.
Thanks to everyone who posted. Im going back again in the Spring and my kids will be with me... i will probably reshoot the image with the above suggestions. I will repost in April.
It occurs to me that the only way to avoid that railing is to have the kids stand on something so that their heads are above the top rail. Maybe they will grow? Probably not that much.
Took a stab at some WB tweak and some sharpening, along with a little keystoning tweak.
I'm sure that the memory of being there will be one that they carry with them throughout their life. Likely another one of those times when the image can't compare with being there, yet it will serve as a cherished reminder of the shared family experience.
I realize it was probably serendipitous, but the "new generation" of building in the background is both a contrast with history that suggests life beyond tragedy @ new growth ... and is kinda harmonious with the generation (in the foreground) that is viewing it as an even "newer" one.
