Thanks guys. I appreciate the feedback. Scott, I tried to recover a some of the shadows, not much luck on the left side. Cleo's a very black dog. Looks like it's number two.
In the first it's wasn't immediately obvious to me the dog is apparently licking a window because there's no context like the frame to clue there's glass there. The lack of detail is also a show stopper.
The second shot action is cute, but there isn't enough of the dog showing to be able to connect and relate to it. The hand is more the star of the show.
As for lighting, it is counter-intutive but to make soft fur look more natural in a photo "hard" collimated light works better than diffuse. It's due to the way the illusion of 3D shape is created in 2D photos with contrast gradients. You need to create sharp specular highlights to see any detail in black or white fur. On white fur shadows between hair also help create a contrast gradient but on black the highlights create the illusion as seen on the side of the head in your shot.
The trick to lighting black dogs is enough flat even fill to open the shadows and specular reflections off the individual hairs bouncing mirror-like back to the camera to reveal the 3D texture of the fur. A shiny silver umbrella with flash or flash bounced into a box lined with aluminum foil will create that effect.
Also instead of putting two lights in front as when lighting a human the shape of animals is better revealed with rim light from behind to define the shape with a specular creating source in front. If you shoot the entire animal feather the light so the face is a bit lighter in tone than the end you follow with the little plastic bag, which clue the viewer where the should look and stay focused one.
Chuck - thanks for the detailed reply, I'll give some of your ideas a try and see how that works. The black coat certainly makes it a challenge. It also looks like your model was more cooperative than mine.
smallrewards - welcome to the forum and thanks for the look and comment. I wanted something a little different for the monthly assignment. The idea was to try to get everyone to wonder about the photo.