fotorelic
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 p.1 #20 · Bar Mitzvah Dilemma Question... | |
This is an abnormal situation, so 'normal' rules don't apply. Justifying doesn't apply. You have to use your judgement, combined with some self interest. If the father hired his own photographer, I would have gone along with it after determining that the mother wouldn't budge. I would have tried to work something out with the other photographer, even though normally, one would point to the clause in the contract about being sole photographer. Some of the local temples around where I am would not put up with this, however.
I would not sell the entire set of images to the father, but I would sell prints, at normal prices, if he wanted them. However, I would pass it by the mother and if the mother objected, I would have to refuse to sell prints to the father, telling him to talk to his wife, or tactfully and sympathetically recommending he talk to and get files or prints from other family members.
Why? Because if I didn't, the mother would not give me any other jobs, or recommendations. The father could bad mouth me, but if I was sympathetic to his situation and made helpful suggestions, I would hope he would at least not go to extremes.
I had one other case in which the mother hired me and paid for everything, and the father still showed up at the Bar Mitzvah. The mother specifically told me that the father was asked to help pay for the Bar Mitzvah but refused. Thankfully, he wasn't aggressive about being in the pro pictures and didn't ask for anything from me. If he did, I would have acted as already described.
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