HiltonP wrote:
As an active individual who has spent the last 32 years permanently in a wheelchair, perhaps I can comment . . . The more active a disabled person is, the more people they will meet (in work, in play, etc, etc). If one follows the principle of introducing yourself as being disabled you could end up doing it multiple times each and every day (in interviews, business meetings, restaurant bookings, theatre bookings, etc). It gets to be a bit crazy after a while. Think about it, imagine feeling the need to introduce yourself “hi I’m Hilton, I’m disabled”. It has an AA ring about it, except that you’re not in rehab, you’re just you.
Yes, I am disabled, no escaping that! . . . but I am not ashamed of my disability, and more importantly I am also not defined by it. I don’t want people to build up pre-conceived ideas about me, based on a possible telephone comment. Your bride probably feels that way.
Exceptionally tall people don’t introduce themselves as being tall. Obese people don’t introduce themselves as being overweight. Old people don’t introduce themselves as being elderly. Negroid people don’t introduce themselves as being black. (all of these could impact on a wedding photogs plans)
Don’t rule out the possibility that you were being tested, to judge your reaction, and how you were going to work out. I would say you passed with flying colours, despite your being uncomfortable with it.
Thanks, Hilton! I totally get it. But I know that I do have brides who interview and say, "My fiancé is REALLY tall"... and have had one tell me that she was anorexic and would need extra time for the photo shoot so that she could get comfortable with the idea of being photographed. Like I said, each person will handle things differently. I'd NEVER expect someone to constantly introduce themselves as having this or that different about them... a business meeting isn't going to be affected one way or the other by someone being in a wheelchair (unless you need to make sure you can get to where it is)... but I felt that photographing a person is completely different. I'm totally happy with how things turned out... but I probably could have done even better if I could have thought through a few things ahead of time... or just have known her personal take on the situation.
But really... I do understand what you're saying! Lord knows Maureen didn't constantly tell people she was wheelchair bound... but she DID have to let people know her ride side was paralyzed anytime a handshake was necessary.
ksmahgrts wrote:
this entire post bears repeating.
thank you bonnie.
and again. Well said.To me, this shows the true meaning of love. This is something that takes great skill and understanding of more than just photography, but an understanding of human emotion.
Thank you for posting and reminding us of what our job truly is.
Mel, I do not think you are off in wishing you had known ahead of time, and being a little surprised you weren't. My niece is a wheelchair bound teen with CP, and I know her mother or her would inform a prospective photographer of the fact.
But I believe by not bringing the matter up, the lovely Rachael was telegraphing the message that she's just another beautiful bride in love, and wasn't wishing any "special" treatment.
Now, we all know as shooters that EVERYBODY receives "special" treatment, in the sense that the angles and poses are specifically to bring out their best, so you could have been better prepared had you known the specifics.
I hope this thread doesn't veer off into the semantics of the rights and politically correct ways of viewing those who are different from the norm in any way, that would be so unecessary and not to the point.
Any girl would be thrilled with these photos.
I think she'll love them. I find when I photograph someone that doesn't fit my idea of photogenic, I do my best and treat them no differently. Afterward, I might even feel a little disappointed that I didn't get the results I was hoping for. Even considering this, in the past I have had those same people tell me they never knew they could look that good. So even though you'll sometimes walk away thinking you did not get the results you hoped for, they can still walk away thinking you did an amazing job.
