Ake was born a boy but wants to be a girl. It's hard for him because many adults have difficulty understanding this. Parents influence him in any direction, without trying to support him. Ake is four years old and very resolute in his identity.
Lisa_Holloway wrote:
4 year olds also want to be lions and dinosaurs. Just saying.
Read up on gender identity. Gender identity is widely considered firmly in place by the age of three as in this case.
There are a number of factors that can influence gender identity, including several biological factors. PBS just did a great series about human formation and when there are out of the ordinary outcomes.
My wife, who is a college professor and has a PhD directs a Health Sciences department at a university. They study hormonal influences (she teaches Pathophysiology among other subjects), ambiguous genitalia and other things related to this.
There is a possibility that this is a "phase", but it also may be an area that will remain with this person for the rest of their life. Treating it as just a phase could be potentially harmful.
Hmm. I have photos of some of my older boys around this age dressed up in their sister's princess costumes (being silly) but they are very much boys. I do not think the parents should encourage this type of nonsense, but I guess that is my more conservative opinion on the matter. If it continued beyond early childhood I'd definitely consider it a mental health issue and would treat it as such.
I agree with you, Lisa. I don't believe in gender "identity" and certainly don't believe that anything is settled by age 3. You can get any number of experts to declare *anything. It's all politics now. I was the biggest tom-boy going until age 12. I literally wished I was a boy for a long time. I am far, far from being a boy. My parents would have really hurt me if they encouraged such thinking. Adults can do or say whatever, but I also oppose celebrating and encouraging such ideas in young children for the agenda of adults.
KristinSmall wrote:
I agree with you, Lisa. I don't believe in gender "identity" and certainly don't believe that anything is settled by age 3. You can get any number of experts to declare *anything. It's all politics now. I was the biggest tom-boy going until age 12. I literally wished I was a boy for a long time. I am far, far from being a boy. My parents would have really hurt me if they encouraged such thinking. Adults can do or say whatever, but I also oppose celebrating and encouraging such ideas in young children for the agenda of adults.
I understand that you have a different opinion about the facts surrounding the picture.
I have great respect for you, Lisa, as a photographer and think that you've taken loads of great photos. I had hoped for comments about the picture. I'm not looking to provoke anyone, I just want to show a portrait of a reality.
What we should want for all our kids is that they are happy and healthy. Parents should stay flexible as they grow and should help them meet their goals, whatever they may be, as long as they are not harming themselves or others. Someone's sexual identity is a personal thing. It does no harm to others or society as a whole. A child and his/her loving family should be free to decide what outlook or remedy is best to ensure happiness and good health. As long as those goals are met, then one would hope that society as a whole would be supportive, rather than judgmental.
I am old enough to remember people saying, "In my opinion all this talk about cigarettes being bad for you is just a lot of hooey. Nonsense, I tell you." And then there are still the climate change deniers and people who think dinosaurs were a hoax.
Maybe the jury is still out on this gender identity stuff, who knows? But, I would suggest that if you haven't studied it or had any special training, special knowledge, or personal experience then you should keep your prejudices to yourselves.
Lovely child and a thought provoking picture. I like the expression you have captured, to me it has a certain defiance. I also like how the lighting makes Ake shine in the dark.
I love the image. Very nice on all aspects. I also like Doug and Elliot's reasoned inclusive approach to a difficult issue. Thank you both for being so clear and well spoken.
Lisa_Holloway wrote:
Amen. Agree 100%. What utter nonsense.
Nice picture. His hair is crazy!
With all due respect, what is the point of expressing these opinions here? Even if it were being related directly to the parents (which it is not), what is the likelihood that your approach to discussing your child's identity will be adopted by the parents of this child? They're not even here!
Moreover, I seriously doubt unsolicited parenting advice offered on a photography forum would be well taken. If I, for example, offered some unasked for opinion on why you shouldn't take pictures of your kids brandishing firearms, would you suddenly see the light and do things my way? I'm guessing not... and it would be presumptuous of me to assume my biases concerning gun safety are somehow superior to your actual knowledge of your kids and their sense of gun safety.
At least when they are young, no one knows our own kids better than us. It might be wise to give someone else's parents the benefit of the doubt in their parenting choices unless those choices are causing manifest harm to the child or others.
Well, some of us do unfortunately believe that allowing or encouraging this type of behavior in a young child *is* indeed causing manifest harm to the child.
I agree with Lisa and it's the reason I spoke up. I saw that there was a call to end this topic of conversation, but is it only asked of one side? If not, I have plenty more to say if the attacks are starting. As a mother (and I'm sure Lisa agrees) it's hard not to speak up when children are abused or are being used to justify and affirm adult behavior and ideas. I hope this child is not emotionally hurt should he see his portrait posted on the Internet like this one day.
KristinSmall wrote:
or are being used to justify and affirm adult behavior and ideas.
This right here. Pushing an agenda through at any cost. And, the cost here is this child's whole life's trajectory has been significantly redirected. There were outside influences.
I am surprised him wanting to dress/act like a girl is a problem in Sweden.
If he persists in this, you will want to consult an MD who specializes in this. There are 4 different factors, most biological, that influence gender and all have to be in alignment the same way to produce a standard 'male or 'female'. For example, chromosomal gender determination has to be the same as hormonal influences in the womb.
Scientific facts are not the same as expurts on the internet.
Archive 2016 · Åke the boy who wants to be a girl
