The fill light might profitably be reduced to render more of the planes of the face. In general women look best with their body turned away from the key light, and their face turned toward the key. The goal is to have the face the brightest part of the portrait, the arm leaving the image camera right is the brightest part of the image.
If you have PS CS4, there is gradient tool in camera RAW that you may use ; beginning at the right edge of the photo, drag the tool left.
I really like the eyes here they really jump out at me in a good way. I'm not a portrait photographer so I can't offer and useful feedback on how to improve on this in my opinion nice portrait and conversion
