Mother of the Bride

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Archive 2008 · Mother of the Bride

Evan Baines
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p.1 #1 · Mother of the Bride

*Cross posted from my blog*

This image is copyrighted by the owner

My Richard Avedon-inspired portrait sessions have really started to spill into my wedding coverage. This is a shot that I really love, which would never have happened before I started doing that style of portrait session, where the interview process and verbal exchange is crucial to the success of the shot.

I'd reached a point where I felt comfortable that I had enough "bride getting hair done" shots, so I left my second to cover in case anything happened, and asked the mother of the bride to step outside with me for a moment. It was a nice partly-overcast day, but a bit brisk. Knowing I didn't have long, I chatted with Mom for a moment and then asked her:

"If you could have one wish for your daughter's marriage, what would it be."

She responded: "Only for her to be as happy as I've been."

This picture was taken just after her response, and just before the tears came. This image is not a "rockstar" shot with an amazing composition or elaborate lighting. This image matters to me, because I can see in this woman's eyes just how much she loves her daughter.

Edited on Dec 13, 2008 at 05:15 PM · View previous versions

Dec 13, 2008 at 04:54 PM

Jimsokay
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p.1 #2 · Mother of the Bride

I like everything about this post Evan. That is a great place to be.

Dec 13, 2008 at 05:08 PM

jcolman
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p.1 #3 · Mother of the Bride

Damn son....you almost made me cry after reading this! Great job.

Dec 13, 2008 at 05:16 PM

radioblurs
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p.1 #4 · Mother of the Bride

evan, we've talked about this shot in particular, but this is an example of taking shots for the client rather than for yourself (IMHO)-i love that you're taking your shots to a deeper and more intimate level of storytelling

nothing wrong with rockstar shots but there's a great deal of merit to this style as well-i hope this forum appreciates this style/aspect of photography as well!

daniel

Dec 13, 2008 at 05:52 PM

ckhagen
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p.1 #5 · Mother of the Bride

great post Evan. thank you!
I've always been interested in truly learning how to work with a client to get these types of images. Are there any particular resources that you've found most helpful?

Dec 13, 2008 at 06:09 PM

Evan Baines
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p.1 #6 · Mother of the Bride

Candice KausHa wrote:
great post Evan. thank you!
I've always been interested in truly learning how to work with a client to get these types of images. Are there any particular resources that you've found most helpful?

Candice,

There really isn't a book or website that can TEACH this kind of thing, as its extremely personal, and your process will be different than mine or anyone else's. I can give you a more detailed explanation of my thought process moving towards this kind of shot:

Not long ago, I noticed that people (clients, other photographers, etc) started thinking of me as a "lighting guy." People identified the "Evan Baines look" as very stylized and heavily-lit. My concern was that my subjects were becoming almost interchangeable: the individuality and personality was getting lost in my efforts to make "impressive" photographs. About that time, I started studying the work of Richard Avedon, who was famous for (among other things) a very stripped down style of portraiture where he simplified his lighting and shot on white backgrounds, trying to focus entirely on his talent for pulling fundamental aspects of a person's character to the surface through his amazing ability to communicate with his subjects. As part of my studies, I started to practice a series of portraits where I allowed myself only one light and a reflector (purposely lighting only in a very simple butterfly or 45deg setup), and shot on a plain white background. I wanted to remove everything that I usually used to make a photo "good." By taking away everything photographically "cool" (composition, fancy lighting, elaborate posing) like Avedon did, its forced me to develop a manner of relating to my subjects: being able to communicate with them in such a way as to elicit some manner of "truth" in their expression. There's no real trick to this: just practice and empathy. The only resource I can recommend is to study the work of Richard Avedon, as he was the true master of this style.

Dec 13, 2008 at 06:51 PM

Brian Lingle
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p.1 #7 · Mother of the Bride

What was her response to the image?

Dec 14, 2008 at 05:58 AM

louloulou
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p.1 #8 · Mother of the Bride

this is so sweet

Thank you... very inspirational.

Dec 14, 2008 at 06:23 AM

brandonwong
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p.1 #9 · Mother of the Bride

Amazing as a picture, especially combined with that background story... but as the mother of bride wouldn't you feel as if you planned the sort of thing just to get a snap of her like that? I honestly would feel a little cheated, but that's just my opinion. Isn't it something that could have been done candidly? I guess it depends on how you view the photographer's role in the wedding.

If she loves it then all the power to you Evan, thanks for sharing

Dec 14, 2008 at 06:36 AM

Tad Killian
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p.1 #10 · Mother of the Bride

great post! A lot of emotion in the capture. Capturing the emotion is what it's all about. Not megapixels and all the other squawbles debated on here. Look at those eyes. There's a short story.

edited: spelling of course

Edited on Dec 14, 2008 at 06:50 AM · View previous versions

Dec 14, 2008 at 06:49 AM

Tony Harrell
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p.1 #11 · Mother of the Bride

Howdy Evan. Much like Brian's question - what was her response to the image? How about the bride?

We know the back story - and I think it's a wonderful image - but without knowing about the question and the response - would it provoke the same emotional reaction from the posters here in the thread?

Dec 14, 2008 at 06:49 AM

Tad Killian
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p.1 #12 · Mother of the Bride

it already did

Dec 14, 2008 at 06:50 AM

Tony Harrell
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p.1 #13 · Mother of the Bride

tcamper wrote:
it already did

I'll politely disagree. If Evan just posted that image in the People section and asked for comments without providing any backstory... you would have honestly posted this comment?

"Look at those eyes. There's a short story."

I don't think you would have.

Dec 14, 2008 at 06:59 AM

Tad Killian
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p.1 #14 · Mother of the Bride

............you're looking at the subject in a very broad sense with a very limited approach. The pupils caught me, and then the smile got me. There was no back-story needed. It's a great capture.

Now.............if you'd like to allude to a bit further that I'm full of shite..............we can continue with that. I think you might be surprised to know that I don't really comment on photos in here all that much. It's normally because I'm not that impressed/motivated to make a comment. So, for you to tell me what it is or isn't what I feel, seems a bit arrogant.

Dec 14, 2008 at 07:12 AM

Tad Killian
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p.1 #15 · Mother of the Bride

"Look at those eyes. There's a short story."

...........and perhaps it's me being arrogant in thinking that seems obvious.

My apologies

Dec 14, 2008 at 07:14 AM

rhembein
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p.1 #16 · Mother of the Bride

wonderful photograph! You can tell without reading the back story that there is deep emotion in that face. I LOVE that you are pushing yourself to try things like this! as we all should be doing, I would think.

Dec 14, 2008 at 09:29 AM

Sam Hassas
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p.1 #17 · Mother of the Bride

"If you could have one wish for your daughter's marriage, what would it be."
She responded: "Only for her to be as happy as I've been."
This picture was taken just after her response, and just before the tears came.

*goosebumps*

Dec 14, 2008 at 04:27 PM

Evan Baines
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p.1 #18 · Mother of the Bride

Thanks for your thoughts everyone!

Bride's response (note that she'd seen the pic before knowing the story):
"I read your blog and it made me cry! I loved that photo and it makes it so much more special knowing there is a story behind it. Just beautiful."

Not sure what mom thinks yet, but we developed a very nice relationship throughout the day and I'm very confident that she didn't mind. As far as the photographer's role, I don't think my manipulation was so extreme as, say, ripping the cigar out of Churchill's mouth or giving toys to tots and then taking them away to make them cry

. I've simply evolved a portrait style that involves using questions to get my subjects in the right mindset. I didn't actually set out with a goal of making her cry, I just wanted her to be thinking of her daughter in a very intense sort of way. I could've (and did) seek out candids of mom as well, but there's an intimacy to this kind of portraiture that can't really be achieved voyeuristically: in this case my camera and I were hopefully able to become a kind of substitute for the bride: now mom will be giving that look directly to her daughter every time she looks through her wedding images.

Questions about whether the image would be as strong without the back-story are fascinating to me. One of my current theories about celebrity photography is that some of its power and popularity derives not just from our love of looking at famous people, but from the shared context in which we all can place the image. Annie Leibovitz's John & Yoko image is powerful on its own, but its power is inextricably linked to our knowledge that it was the last photo taken of them before he died. Avedon's forlorn Marilyn Monroe shot haunts us not just because we're Marilyn "fans," but because we all know what happens next.

Would HCB's image of an enraged woman in a crowd be QUITE so important if we didn't understand that she'd just recognized a Gestapo informer? Point being that there are some photos where an element of context is necessary in order to really appreciate them, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Dec 14, 2008 at 04:53 PM

Brian Lingle
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p.1 #19 · Mother of the Bride

Dude! You're the Barbara Walters of wedding photography!

Dec 14, 2008 at 05:37 PM

DB
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p.1 #20 · Mother of the Bride

Great capture.

One thing I've noticed is that everyone wants ot capture the fun and silly and laughing faces of the day - maybe the crying ones right before the walk down the aisle. But few of us have a strong desire ot try to capture the essence of our clients. I love the fact that Evan is putting more thought into wedding photography.

One thing I will note is that if Evan didn't understand lighting so well, this picture might not have been possible. You have to learn the basics to start to creat truly moving photos. I'm still learning the basics, but I look forward to the day when the basics come to me so naturally that I incorporate all that knowledge into a photgraph without even thinking about it --- knowing the basics helps you focus on the people.

Dec 15, 2008 at 04:07 PM

thef1sl
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p.1 #21 · Mother of the Bride

Evan, your posts have evolved from cool to thought provoking.... it's great... well done sir!

Dec 15, 2008 at 04:30 PM

Evan Baines
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p.1 #22 · Mother of the Bride

Thanks all: cheers!

Dec 15, 2008 at 06:50 PM

Evan Baines
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p.1 #23 · Mother of the Bride

Brandon:

I've posted a bit more about my thoughts on manipulation in portraiture in my blog, which may help answer some of your question about my views on this subject

http://evanbaines.blogspot.com/2009/01/youre-so-maniupulative.html

Jan 04, 2009 at 10:06 PM

Shari Umpstead
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p.1 #24 · Mother of the Bride

Evan,
I don't really "do" weddings all that often anymore (I found I prefer portraiture - kids mostly, and some more "edgy" stuff as of late). I have always found that talking with people while shooting them not only makes them more comfortable with me as a photographer, but also so they can see me as just someone they are "hanging out" with. The nerves are less likely to cause "fake smiles" and nervous tension in the faces when the person in the portrait sees me as their friend, or at the very least, just another person - and not just a camera pointing at them. With kids, I tend to schedule extra time in my sessions for "getting to know/play time" before the shoot so they don't wonder who that stranger is behind the lens.

As a result, I am friendly with most of my past clients, and I have even become friends with quite a few after having a one to two hour session with them.

Anyway, after all this rambling what I mean to say is that I think your approach is major brilliant & splendid. Keep it up.

Jan 05, 2009 at 12:01 AM

RichardLavigne
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p.1 #25 · Mother of the Bride

Wow... this post has taken me on a bit of a roller coaster ride of emotions. Upon initially reading Your post Evan, I was incredibly emotional... The eyes, the knowing smile... it definitely is a very deep picture. Is it a visually striking, sexy sells, rockstar celebrity portrait, no, probably not. Does the backstory, explained by Evan help sell the picture to us.... yes, it certainly does.... but isn't that what every picture is about. The cliche is "a picture is worth a thousand words," and in that picture.... all 1000 words are about a mother's love, hopes, and dreams for her daughter... from the day she was born, up to this point in her life.. everything she's wanted for her daughter, its in that picture. Things that you and I, as outsiders in that relationship, don't even know about, but the mother and daughter do.

As I scrolled down and read the suggestion that Evan was almost manipulating us with this back story, I was horrified. To suggest that without the backstory, the picture is weaker.. is absurd and arrogant. It may be less impressive to us (from a strict photographic pizazz sense), but to those intimately involved i.e. the mother and the daughter, that story doesn't even need to be told. They look at the picture and understand the emotion. I'd be willing to bet that is more important to them than any rockstar, celebrity shot.

Then...as I read further and someone suggested that perhaps the mother might have felt manipulated by Evans' question, I was perplexed. I felt so emotional by the pic and than this comment changed my perspective... I was able to comprehend that the mother might possibly feel manipulated and I think it comes to one thing... Evan's interaction with his client or in this case, the mother. He controls his interaction with her. If he handles the situation delicately, he breaks down some walls and gets some true emotion, a connection with his subject, if he doesn't, she feels manipulated.

I commend you Evan for this awesome post... it has really made me think about my interaction with clients.. not only on the day of, but leading up to. The whole experience is about gaining a level of comfort and trust that truly allow the person to shine through. I'd also like to commend all of the poster's as the thread has been incredibly thought provoking... whether i agree or not with your comments, I appreciate the fact that you've made them.

Jan 05, 2009 at 01:13 AM


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