Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

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mslansky
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p.2 #1 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Went to DC with my wife a couple of weeks ago. I got up at 5am to shoot around the Tidal Basin for a few hours. Got back to the hotel and took the wife to breakfast. Then spent some hours doing what she wanted. Of course the camera was still with me. I think it's been said by others, it's all about compromise.

May 02, 2008 at 02:35 PM

jlandaue
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p.2 #2 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

That has been an issue for me too ! We like going to the Smokies, she loves walking on the trails, and I do too, but my intention is to take nice shots in there. At the beginning she even helps me ideas for composing nice shots, but after a while she starts getting bored, and I start getting more excited, and I keep stopping more often for nice new shots, then she starts complaining that we are stopping too much. Then I start getting stressed and because of the hurry to please her, my shots become now "snapshots".

After a while she is walking ahead 100 feet ahead of me, and after every shot I have to run to catch with her walking speed.

I'm very worry now, because this year we are going to Spain, and she warned me that during our vacations we have too much to do and to see, and that I can not stop every minute for a shot.

I'm a little worry because we get in to arguments when we talk about that. Photography is not her passion. She loves walking and shopping. I guess that as good as I let her do the shopping she will have the patience to let me take my shots.

Edited on May 05, 2008 at 01:07 AM

May 05, 2008 at 01:05 AM

pwhull
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p.2 #3 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

I has same problem for years. Over a couple of decades, worked up to a Rebel xti for her. Now she takes twice as many photos as I do, and I am often the one waiting on her. As a life long artist, she has a good eye, and although knowing nothing about cameras often gets better shots than I.

May 05, 2008 at 02:04 AM

R.H. Johnson
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p.2 #4 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

fire the wife..............

May 05, 2008 at 04:47 AM

frank kayser
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p.2 #5 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Actually, mslansky made a great point: Lighting is said to be better around sunrise and sunset. (I love sunrise) Unless your wife is an "early bird", you can have the am as free time with the best lighting. pm will require negotiation.

Then, there's the other option - separate vacations. I kid you not, if one has a trusting relationship, it works great. I find that both of us come back happier - because we got to unwind without the constant guilt or nagging. And then, there's always the reunion. Distance does indeed, make the heart grow fonder. You can say "Thanks, Precious" and mean it!

Of course, rugrats and crumbsnatchers change that paradigm...

frank

May 05, 2008 at 03:56 PM

claudermilk
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p.2 #6 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

jlandaue wrote:
That has been an issue for me too ! We like going to the Smokies, she loves walking on the trails, and I do too, but my intention is to take nice shots in there. At the beginning she even helps me ideas for composing nice shots, but after a while she starts getting bored, and I start getting more excited, and I keep stopping more often for nice new shots, then she starts complaining that we are stopping too much. Then I start getting stressed and because of the hurry to please her, my shots become now "snapshots".

After a while she is walking ahead 100 feet ahead of me, and after every shot I have to run to catch with her walking speed.

I'm very worry now, because this year we are going to Spain, and she warned me that during our vacations we have too much to do and to see, and that I can not stop every minute for a shot.

I'm a little worry because we get in to arguments when we talk about that. Photography is not her passion. She loves walking and shopping. I guess that as good as I let her do the shopping she will have the patience to let me take my shots.

One thing a guide who became a friend of my wife and I pointed out that really struck home: the hike is not a race to beat the estimated time; you'll get more out of it by slowing down and really looking around. It's amazing how much more we both enjoy our hikes now (and by coincidence, it allows more photo setup time

). We've learned to plan fewer locations in the vacations so we can spend more time at each & actually enjoy them more. So there's more to see? An excuse to go back later. The whole point of the vacation is to slow down from the rat race we live in every day, rushing around to try and see everything misses the point & you don't really see or experience any of it. At least, that's MHO.

May 05, 2008 at 03:57 PM

mkweaver
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p.2 #7 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Doesn't matter how long you've been married—or whether you're a guy with a wife, or a woman with a husband. Same problem.
I'm female with a husband of 48 years (just celebrated our anniversary this week!)
First week in April we went to the Texas Hill Country to celebrate the bluebonnet season. He asked me to leave the camera behind. I did. I silently cried to myself, but I left it behind.
He'd do the same for me if it were reversed.
That's why we've been married 48 years.

(He is 87 years old and fighting cancer and heart disease, and I have told him, "I want a 50th anniversary. If you die on me, I'll kill you!" More likely, I'll die, too)

May 05, 2008 at 04:17 PM

gbee
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p.2 #8 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

It's a dilemma

Edited by gbee on May 06, 2008 at 09:00 AM GMT

Edited on May 06, 2008 at 09:00 AM

May 05, 2008 at 07:51 PM

hidden_Markov
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p.2 #9 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

Here's a solution that worked for me, have another hobby she would consider even more annoying. Went out to start shooting for the first few times recently (finishing up my grad studies, now have free time and hit up scenic spots around the island this weekend to break in the d40 and my new hobby). Wife loved it, a joint activity, get to go outdoors and she prefers it much more over my other free time activity, autoracing. While I enjoy a day of running the car at a track (more like a big parking lot, but its a legal area we can rent out so take what we can get) , the wife....not her cup of tea. Unless you race or like cars (wife does neither), a track day can be very boring to be honest...Now I pick up the bag and say lets go somewhere, she is very happy about going.

Grass is greener, just give her some brown grass so the shooting ain't so bad anymore lol....

Edited on May 06, 2008 at 04:11 AM

May 06, 2008 at 03:57 AM

claudermilk
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p.2 #10 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

You mean autocross/solo/gymkhana, right? Yep, that would do it. I do have enough mercy to not drag her along on the car stuff.

May 06, 2008 at 04:07 PM

hidden_Markov
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p.2 #11 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

claudermilk wrote:
You mean autocross/solo/gymkhana, right?

Yep, She wanted to go to see where I spend my sundays when I head up the way. She went once. Doesn't ask to go anymore after that. Guess she didn't like the cones as much as I do. Her sitting shotgun on a free run didn't help. Think it made her hate it and the car more lol.

She likes the photo days much more...

May 06, 2008 at 11:04 PM

Venus
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p.2 #12 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

She must shoot her. I mean include her in your shots. Make sure you take some really good photos of her. Make her feel special and a part of you when you are so engrossed. Ever so often don't forget to tell her how wonderful she is, how much you love her. That way she will love to tag along with you.

May 07, 2008 at 07:47 AM

gbee
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p.2 #13 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

As long as she does not go the Greece on her own.

frank kayser wrote: Then, there's the other option - separate vacations. I kid you not, if one has a trusting relationship, it works great.

May 07, 2008 at 08:12 AM

frank kayser
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p.2 #14 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

gbee wrote:
As long as she does not go the Greece on her own.

------------------------------------------------------------

What? And swim the English Channel? (an old Firesign Theater joke...)

Heck, Mine has been to Italy, France, Spain, England, and Ireland without me - I have a way I like to travel and see the sights, and she has quite another. I've been to Hawaii without her, and other places, too. She tours - I poke and prod.

Travel photography, for me, is too opportunistic, and mine, at least, tend to be superficial - almost trite. I can't just blow through a joint and make a photograph - I need to become part of where I am.

As long she doesn't go off with the pool boy. Oh wait - on my last M/C trip, I went with the pool boy! I'm going to Nova Scotia with her two brothers, and she was strictly dis-invited by them - a "boys trip". Give and take.

frank

Edited on May 07, 2008 at 12:09 PM

May 07, 2008 at 12:05 PM

dave chilvers
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p.2 #15 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

First of all, every body is entitled to live their life as they want to. I`m on my second marriage and made sure that this time I married a woman that suited me( and I suited her) My wife has hobbies that sometimes gets in the way of what I want to do but I would never prevent her from doing what she wants. Sometimes we split for the day and sometimes we stay together. We always have the evening together(at home or away) once we sit down for dinner then we stay together. At the end of the evening she might read or go on her pc and so will I. We don`t live in each others pockets, we are our own people. We love each other very much and don`t like being apart for very long.
If I`m on an early start(work or play) she will get up and make me a sandwich and a flask if she is out with her friends I`ll run her around and pick her up at the end of the day etc.
she had cancer a few years back, we pushed her through quick surgery privately using money put aside for other things just like she does for me when I want a new camera. after the op I didn`t work for 3 months, running her to and from the hospital for her treatment, it was tight but we got by.It`s all a matter of support and the old saying my father told me before he died " you get back out of life what you put into it"
Do we always see eye to eye? No Way
It`s all about compatibilty and of course when you are young and in love you often overlook the warning signs.
The old "put the toilet seat down when you have finished" never occurs in our house because I often say to her "make sure you lift the seat when you have finished" and we roll around laughing.

My advice to you if you can`t reach a happy conclusion when you are away together is to have a few days on location on your own or with a photographer mate and fill your boots.(but make sure you take her a small gift back to let her know that you were thinking of her when apart.)

Good Luck

Dave

May 11, 2008 at 07:45 AM

BubbaJon
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p.2 #16 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

watkinssr wrote:
Craig Yannuzzi wrote:
watkinssr wrote:
tell her you want to take photos of her, then crop her out.
Very funny!
It seemed obvious...Maybe I've been married too long....
Until she wants to see the shots that you took... One of these days she'll call that bluff.

May 12, 2008 at 05:00 PM

Doug Click
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p.2 #17 · Wife vs. Camera, HELP!

I had a similar situation. Wife told me to leave my camera behind, so I did. While we were walking about she turns to me and says," I wish you had brought your camera. This place is beautiful!"

Now I just take it with me where ever I WANT!

May 14, 2008 at 10:23 PM


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