1. the shot where she's standing up is very static... I was hoping that you would see her hand up high holding on to the doorway but it's not happening.
2. I should have had her "mix-up" her legs and maybe his, in the final two. Not happy that they're virtually identical... though it's ok I guess
FIrst time I've ever tried a little story within the e-session... it was lots of fun, they absolutely positively LOVED IT so I'll prolly try it again. I hope they realize what I meant when I said they would just be silhouettes
"1. the shot where she's standing up is very static... I was hoping that you would see her hand up high holding on to the doorway but it's not happening."
when i first saw that shot, I went "damn, he should have went with a slow shutter speed (1/15th-ish)". then i saw your self crit.
also, i would maybe cut the next to last or third from last frame...i dont think you need them both.
one last suggestion...some gritty conversions here might work really well!
The thing I like about it being low-key like this is that it's mysterious. There's something going on, and as an observer I want to know what the story is. Are they strangers? Are they lovers? Are they our Secret Service agents on a new mission?
Obviously, as you said, it's an e-session. But without knowing it's an e-session, it's a pretty cool story.
@WNStudio - Can't disagree on the legs. And thanks for your kind words
@Slay - thanks! Good point on the last two. Thank you, I feel better now
@KittyK - Danke!
@Joel - Thanks man
@Chuck - oh man! Slow shutter would have TOTALLY KICKED ASS there. You know I have to say that I don't use the element of time as much as I should. Hopefully I'll think about this next time. Agreed on the cut too... I'll pick one to cut. Thanks! As to gritty conversion I presume you mean grainy right? Thanks for the kind words.
@Ron - Nice observation, and I'm glad that my vision came across... I was trying to create something that they would both recognize as them (he is fairly recognizeable when he first walks in, she is when she stands up) but that also had somewhat of a universal quality to it in that it could be anyone.
@Wolfe - considering that it was MY post I can totally see why you were waiting for porno. I kind of considered asking her to remove her bra and toss it on the floor (obviously I wouldn't see anything) but decided against it because while it may have worked for my "editorial" idea, it would have been largely useless for them as an engagement piece... or so I thought... for all I know they may have totally LOVED the idea but I guess at that point (and still now) I wasn't sure if that's a boundary they would have crossed and I wasn't about to screw a great session by suggesting something that crossed their line
. Nice work, and the comments were fun too