Do any of you struggle with certain personality types during initial consultations?
I'm not sure what it is because I'm typically very comfortable when it comes to interacting and talking to complete strangers, but I seem to struggle when it comes to consultations with brides that are shy and quiet.
The few I've met with over the last few months have all been pretty attractive and seemed very nice, but getting them to open up or just talk about their wedding plans is like pulling teeth. Most of the time my consultations are quite enjoyable, and it's usually not difficult at all to have a conversation for an hour or so and have the clients talk about a variety of things.
Do you just chalk it up to the fact that you won't be a fit for everyone? I guess I hate to accept that because two of my brides last year were somewhat shy when we first met, but wound up being really great clients.
I think you just accept you won't gel with everyone, there is not a lot else you can do. I usually assume people are put off by my age if they seem a bit distant, shy, uninterested... Whatever you want to call it. But that's my personal anxiety, the thing is to not let it bother you, accept it & move on.
Have you tried matching their personality by becoming less chatty yourself and *not* trying to get them to open up? Finding another way to build rapport with them?
I have a wedding for later this year with a bride who, between her and I, there is a true and serious language barrier. On top of that, she is quiet, reserved, and sitting in a quiet coffee shop, I could barely hear and understand her.
I fear that that wedding is going to be a tough one.
I usually do fairly well with these types because I am reserved and self contained myself. If you are the kind of guy that is life and soul of the party running about on the dance floor with a camera in one hand and a flash in the other you probably aren't a good match anyway.
Dealing with people like this can make you massively insecure if you let it because you can get a read on whether they are warming to you or like what you are saying, extroverted people can sometimes them talk even more which is often not ideal - I get this all the time with salesman because I don't give much away.
Quiet people are usually also pretty private so stay away from relationship questions like "omg how did he propose?" Don't try and turn it into a laughter filled blast of a time because it won't work, be low key, match their level of energy and endear yourself to them this way. Don't freak out because they are not laughing and joking. Honestly I think some less socially confident people can get a bit freaked out by the whole consult thing since they have probably never hired a photographer before so they may need some leading.
Ask open ended (no yes/no) questions? Ask questions about them, who they are, what they're interested in? Talk about their backgrounds rather than the wedding? IOW, try to find something they're comfortable discussing, and dwell a bit there. Then transition to the business end of the "how do you want me to shoot your wedding" discussion.
In eastern countries people won't talk business with you unless they've interacted socially and personally with you. No business talk until they've gotten to know each other, probably over a coffee or even dinner. We western types expect to dive right into negotiations and get surprised when not every person reacts enthusiastically. Go figure.
Mark_L wrote:
I usually do fairly well with these types because I am reserved and self contained myself. If you are the kind of guy that is life and soul of the party running about on the dance floor with a camera in one hand and a flash in the other you probably aren't a good match anyway.
Dealing with people like this can make you massively insecure if you let it because you can get a read on whether they are warming to you or like what you are saying, extroverted people can sometimes them talk even more which is often not ideal - I get this all the time with salesman because I don't give much away.
Quiet people are usually also pretty private so stay away from relationship questions like "omg how did he propose?" Don't try and turn it into a laughter filled blast of a time because it won't work, be low key, match their level of energy and endear yourself to them this way. Don't freak out because they are not laughing and joking. Honestly I think some less socially confident people can get a bit freaked out by the whole consult thing since they have probably never hired a photographer before so they may need some leading.
Thanks, that's good advice. I rarely fall into the trap of talking to much with these personality types but I suppose more leading (in a way different from rambling for minutes on end) would be something to tweak from the way I'm approaching it now.
Another vote for Mark_L's advice. I *try* and let my couples do most of the talking, but some consults turn in to a staring competition if the couple are shy, introverted, or reserved.
