RustyBug
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 p.1 #18 · First Time - Totally lost - Help | |
oldrattler wrote:
It is not easy turning down positive recognition.
My wife & I go to craft fairs frequently. We see incredible pieces of workanship that range from precision furniture to phenomenal yard art, to beautiful paintings and exquisitely hand crafted jewelry and many other items of excellence (et al). Some of these things have hefty price tags, others not so much.
While we make it a point to share our recognition of the excellent workmanship with the more talented craftsmen and would love to have a lot of such items, we can't afford to buy everything that we give positive recognition to. So, we have to decide which items are of sufficient value to us that we actually purchase them (usually one or two). While the craftspeople all enjoy receiving the recognition that we give for respect of their craftsmanship, they don't give their works away just because we shared our appreciation & respect with them.
Also, because I truly do respect, appreciate and value their workmanship ... asking them to give me their craftsmanship for free doesn't even enter my mind. When I find something that I really want, I'm gonna be willing to pay for it ... even if I might 'haggle' a little (or a lot).  Positive recognition, followed by an expectation of receiving it for free can be a patronizing, 'passive-aggressive' left-handed form of devaluation/disrespect.
I can't buy everything I like, but I sure don't expect people to go around giving things to me for free just because I like them. Gee, Mr. Camera maker, I just love what you've done with your new forty gazillion megapixel, world's most perfect, for what I need camera ... if you let me have one that you've already built (i.e. it's not gonna cost you anything more, you've already done the work) for free, I'll be sure and tell everyone who asks me where I got it, that it came from you.
Strong "positive recognition" followed by a refusal to "value" my work ... is more of a "slap in the face" to me. Of course, maybe it's just that your offer of 'exposure' has not proven itself to be of any real value ... despite your insinuation that it is of significant value, albeit unfounded, unseen and historically unsubstantiated (exceptions do exist, but they should be just that ... i.e. "exceptional").
In that regard, I'm good with, "I'm sorry, that's out of my budget", or "I can't afford THAT MUCH", or "I don't want to pay THAT MUCH", or "I don't think it's worth THAT MUCH", or "it isn't worth THAT MUCH to me" or any other likewise variant. At least here, they are placing value on my work and maybe we 'haggle', maybe we don't ... even if we can't agree on a prescribed amount. But, to put such strong recognition to something first, and then afterwards to follow it up by saying that you aren't willing to pay ANYTHING (i.e. I want if for free) ... then you are a liar and a wanna-be-legal-thief ... when you can get away with it. 
After that last line, I should probably change my ID from "RustyBug" to "CrustyBug". 
My photography comes from an "old school" bent (albeit learning new ways) ... and I still appreciate a handshake and a cup of coffee (Pepsi, please) from a person of integrity. Yup, dinosaurs do still roam the earth.
Recognition & value ... integrally related, yet not the same thing. Kind of a right-brain / left-brain thing, they work best when they co-exist ... not so well when you try to separate them and/or use one "in-lieu-of" the other. Too many times, people let their emotion/recognition side over-shadow their logic/value side ... and there are plenty of people around who will gladly exploit that if you let them.
Edited on Nov 14, 2011 at 11:08 AM · View previous versions
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