There are parts of this which really work for me, but the element which I identify (in my own mind) as something speeding past is sort of out of the style/feeling/character of the rest of it and takes away from the whole. I think it could work if it had at least more of the same character as the rest, or perhaps were broken up in some way as the rest of the image is. I think that perhaps it's just too identifiable and because of its relative size it's quite important. I like this style that you're using!
