I think it'd actually benefit from not having people in it. The lines are busy enough, which I like. It's composed well, but his left hand and her face are weird and distracting.
I like the lines and the people. It forces you to look at it and want to figure it out. The hands and expressions, however could have been better as noted.
With shots like this, I usually have the camera set for multiple shots and focus tracking, firing off a series. With people, in the street or even posed, you need a few to choose from because you might have caught them with their eyes closed, strange expression, etc.
