I like the sculpting of the skin tones and the contrast of the dark hair in the high key setting. The polish of her eyes seems too strong to me and takes me out of my daydream. I might like a softer, dreamier take.
I looked at her eyes more closely and there is a square blocking her pupil in both eyes which I imagine is a light fixture of some kind. There is also a bright squiggle trailing horizontally from the square. So, these reflections and the overall gloss from the light are unedited and natural in terms of processing but maybe that is what gave me the unnatural feeling.
