p.2 #1 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
Nope, I would say nothing and leave my camera at home. Unless the b/g asked for your opinion beforehand, it's not really your place to critique the hired photographers. Let them do their jobs. I've even had friends show me their wedding album and I could tell they were subtly asking me my opinion, and I turned the conversation around about what they liked about their photographers. I never want my friends or family think they didn't get good wedding photographs due to my opinion. It's not my place.
p.2 #2 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
Oh, one thing I will say... Like the poster above I have. Even asked for my opinion on wedding photos, and family has come to me complaining about some photographer. The photos weren't actually bad, they got what they paid for and the photographer did not misrepresent themselves. They were upset some shots didn't happen and I explained how logistically that was impossible without the timeline making room for it. So I used the opportunity to make them look better rather than make them more upset.
p.2 #3 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
ckhagen wrote:
I just feel like after you shoot a million of them, there's nothing more exciting than just *being* at one and enjoying the friends and family and the food etc... Taking out a camera just sucks the experience out of it.
I agree 100%. I wouldn't want to bring my gear and "work" when I could be having fun with family and/or friends. I'd also never mention I was a photographer to the hired one, there is no reason for it.
p.2 #4 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
I've found the easiest solution is just to recommend awesome photographers to my friends. Relieves any wanting for a camera, besides being in the wedding party keeps me plenty busy. If I'm not in the wedding party, I sometimes bring a point and shoot for drunken moments with my friends towards the end of the night.
p.2 #5 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
teebat wrote:
You really have to ask these questions? Most working (pro) photographers when invited to a wedding/party/event do NOT bring their gear because they want to have a good time and don't want to be the PITA uncle bobber. Let alone critize the working photographers gear.
I know, right?!? Makes me wonder about the original poster that he would even ASK such questions.
p.2 #7 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
D. Diggler wrote:
I know, right?!? Makes me wonder about the original poster that he would even ASK such questions.
There are no dumb questions and IMO it's great that he asked! I've been so glad for the education I've gotten here and it's saved me time and again at weddings I've attended as a guest. Why not share that? It only comes with experience.
p.2 #8 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
Let them do their job, and relax. Enjoy the fact that you are actually there in a capacity where you get to enjoy yourself and celebrate, without any timelines to meet, DJ's/Coordinators to please, and alcohol to avoid. Drink, eat, dance, laugh, and be merry.
My younger sister is getting married in October. All I did was look up the photographers that she was interested in. The one they wanted, I gave a solid seal of approval as I love his work, and off they went to book him.
p.2 #9 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
dmacmillan wrote:
Do you carry your "egos" around in a wheelbarrow?
I was talking about doing so in your head (yeah I know I didn't specify it)... and critique isn't always negatives, just reflecting on his gear selection, thinking what you like or dislike.
Here’s how I relate to the question…. I’m a social worker by profession, photography is how I keep sane. When I take clients (or even family/friends) to see counselors/psychiatrists/psychologists/case managers/doctors/lawyers I’ll sit in and I definitely critique the techniques/questions used by the other professional. Part of the insight I have comes from knowing the clients better than the other professional. Part comes education. And part comes from sitting in on so many sessions that I can identify the good and bad. Maybe there are no parallels between this and wedding photography.
I hope this answers the “where the fuck is this guy coming from” questions. Do I really think someone’s going to post “yeah I’m a pretentious snob” here? No. I did however post it because I had a moment of curiosity pertaining to how people act in situations when professional boundaries get crossed.
p.2 #10 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
DwightD wrote:
My daughter recently got married, and as the father of the bride, I was to walk her down the aisle, of course. My wife and I also offered to shoot the wedding for them as our present.
Not sure we'll do that again.
I was in my "photographer mode" more than "Daddy mode" and didn't really get to enjoy the day because I was "on".
I must say that I'm shocked you didn't know before hand that you couldn't WORK as a photog AND simultaneously enjoy the day as father-of-the-bride.
p.2 #11 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
ckhagen wrote:
Am I the only one who ... doesn't even think about bringing my camera (besides maybe my iPhone) to a wedding I'm a guest at? ... Taking out a camera just sucks the experience out of it.
You're not the only one. Were I to be invited to a wedding as a guest, I wouldn't THINK to bring a camera. Too much like ****ing work.
p.2 #12 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
DwightD wrote:
Long time lurker here - had to register to post to this topic. While we no longer are officially in business, we still do some charitable shoots and still have most of our gear. My daughter recently got married, and as the father of the bride, I was to walk her down the aisle, of course. My wife and I also offered to shoot the wedding for them as our present.
Not sure we'll do that again.
I was in my "photographer mode" more than "Daddy mode" and didn't really get to enjoy the day because I was "on". The video (by someone else) was very moving and meaningful when I viewed it, because I hadn't really viewed the wedding as a Dad, but through the viewfinder.
I believe we got some good stuff of the day for them, but missed some things because I was out from behind the camera during the processional and father/daughter dance, and some outdoor work because of the awful heat.
When we work up the images to create the album, I think we can deliver a stunning product to my girl, but would I do that again?
Probably not - I'll either be in the wedding party, or shoot their wedding as a gift, but not both.
And it's been suggested here to just be in the wedding and keep your mouth shut toward a hired gun. I second that, unless you're sure you can contribute positively such as Johnny B Goode described.
In my case, the groom was an ex wedding photog - before hand that was a bit intimidating, but during the wedding he was very good to work with and never ever crossed the line to telling us what to do.
Interesting experience - a first, and probably last.
Hello Dwight, that is sort of a sad story, I too have missed a few personal and family events because I was there with a camera, I was an observer not a participant. In your career how many great wedding memories did you give to other brides, probably a lot but how many times do you get to be rather of the bride.
Sometime its best to be a dad or a guest and not a photographer, there are plenty of photographers available but only one father of the bride...let someone else deliver the stunning product.
p.2 #13 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
TTLKurtis wrote:
The time to give your input is before they hire someone. After that it's time to shut your mouth and not ruin it for them and simply enjoy their day with them. If they wanted photos from you they would have hired you. Enjoy the party simple as that.
If you do say anything you'll just make them worry or make the photographer annoyed or nervous or whatever. Nothing is going to change for the better by you saying something or telling them how to do their job.
p.2 #15 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
D. Diggler wrote:
I must say that I'm shocked you didn't know before hand that you couldn't WORK as a photog AND simultaneously enjoy the day as father-of-the-bride.
Oh we knew it would be tough. Problem was she was on a shoestring budget (who isn't?) and we knew the hired gun she would have used, and well...we wanted better work for her. So we did it.
Probably not again, but we did it, 'cause I love my girl. And I didn't have the $ to hire a better gun either, so that wasn't an option.
p.2 #16 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired)
My question is: Have they asked your opinion about their wedding photography as you're close enough to them to be asked to be part of the wedding party? If they haven't asked your opinion, why do you think that is?
