So I had a facebook msg this morning from someone asking about august next year. It was off my sisters ex. They split around 2 years ago. They were together for 7, in which time he lived with us between courses, he was part of the family really, I saw him everyday, got on well. Haven't really spoke much since they broke up...
So I'm unsure how comfortable I'd be shooing his wedding... I don't think my sister would have any issue, but I'll have to talk to her. I don't have a massive amount of experience, I've only ever photographed people I don't know on a personal level. I wonder whether this might compromise the scenario, or even myself. I wonder whether the fact that I have such doubt is enough reason to decline.
I could give him good advise on finding a photog no doubt, but I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. He used to be really keen on photography (mainly nature), & was over of the reasons I actually got interested in photography in the first place.
I'm guessing there is no right or wrong answer, so if anyone has been in a similar situation, feel free to share...
morganb4 wrote:
your going to get a lot of answers saying never shoot family and friends etc but thats not the issue here. I believe your question lies outside that.
If he is OK and your sister would be OK with it and you are OK with shooting family and friends (which he is neither), then I don't see the problem.
You say you don't have a massive amount of experience. Does what experience you have include weddings? Why is he asking you? Is it economic, he likes your work or both? People usually have smaller, simpler second weddings. Is this the case?
Be honest with yourself about your capabilities, including your kit. Get with him and have a discussion about his expectations. Could you meet face to face? Since you haven't seen him for a while, that may help you judge how comfortable you are with him now. As Morgan stated, if everyone is OK, then shoot the wedding.
Thanks for the thoughts everyone... I think you probably picked up on that well... Perhaps it's me that just won't be entirely comfortable with the whole thing. I was asked by my uncle a few months ago about his son's wedding this year, and I wasn't really comfortable with that either... and there is no "history" there. I think the implied discount is one thing, but just mixing working environment & family/friends seems "uncomfortable" to me... sorry to keep using that word.
@dmacmillan: I don't know anything about his wedding, just the date, so I have no idea. He could well just be sniffing for something cheaper, or a discount, rather than being interested in my work... but as I say I do not know.
Hmmm... I think probably best I say the date is already booked... and then offer some advise...
I had a plumber friend ask me to shoot for free and I asked he plumb the house for free, the word "had" is important here If your uncomfortable now, how you going to feel on the wedding day ? If you been reading the papers lately you'd know that here in the UK couples are suing. So go with your gut feeling and if you do shoot it, have a signed ironclad contract with client expectations etc.
"If he is OK and your sister would be OK with it and you are OK with shooting family and friends (which he is neither), then I don't see the problem. "
What people vocalize isn't what they feel inside.
I'd be hurt if it was me in her shoes. I don't know that I'd say it out loud though.
If your uncomfortable now, how you going to feel on the wedding day ? If you been reading the papers lately you'd know that here in the UK couples are suing. So go with your gut feeling and if you do shoot it, have a signed ironclad contract with client expectations etc.