CGrindahl
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rafaelcasd wrote:
I have been absent for a few weeks, the reason for this is that my closest family and best friend of 24 years has passed onto a better place.
Abner came to live at my house 24 years ago at age 18, completed the last year of high school at San Marcos, received an associate degree in theater at San Diego City College and worked at the nearby California Center for the Arts. After his dad passed from a long illness he left for medical school in Mexico, nearly completed his studies but had to come back to California after a violent kidnapping.
Not one to be defeated, he became a Nurse Assistant, then a Licensed Vocational Nurse, then a Registered nurse with a Bachelor of Nursing degree. At the time of his passing Abner was one year away from Masters in Nursing and becoming an independent Advanced Practice Nurse with his own clinic.
Abner worked hospice and was incredibly compassionate and effective helping families and the patient through the process of dying, he often came back telling me the life stories that patients confided on him, his patients did not suffer and the families were helped to find peace. Abner nearly died during the Mexico kidnapping, but having seen death he became an Angel of care for those dying.
Abner became the son I never had, lived in my home whenever he was not away at school, included me in all aspects of his life, and had many friends who loved him dearly and whose love was extended to me.
I wanted to convey some sense of who Abner was, but pictures are worth 1000 words.
(Nikkor on Nikon of course)
Here he is producing Don Quijote in Tijuana, every costume and the set was made by him. I financed his productions and we never made any money but it was great fun.
 Abner Gomez_147 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
At the commissioning of the USS San Diego, carrying my camera bag.
 Abner Gomez_71 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
At a Christmas, he said I did not smile enough.
 Abner Gomez_58 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
Volunteering at the 1000 Smiles Foundation in Ensenada, look it up, a worthwhile charity
 Abner 32 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
Fooling around with my grandson.
 Abner Gomez_69 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
One of the hundreds of times he decorated home and created a special events for us all
 Abner Gomez_88 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
At the peak of life, before his heart failed him
 Abner Gomez_52 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
Goodbyes, it will not be long before I see him again. He is the one on the right.
 Abner Gomez Childhood pictures 39 by Rafael Batlle, on Flickr
I am deeply moved Rafael. What a beautiful young man and what a precious relationship! At the moment I'm doing graphic design for a newsletter published for the Living/Dying Project where I have volunteered for the last 26 years. The cover story is about another volunteer, a good friend, who will die soon, likely from exposure to agent orange during his 400 days as a marine in Vietnam. Your dear friend was doing incredibly valuable work. What a shame his life ended so early.
I love the photo of the two of you dressed so handsomely. I can feel the sweetness of your connection with one another. I imagine you have a great deal of support around you. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. In a way, this community has become a bit like family for many of us. I certainly feel that as I return to spend a bit of time with all of you. Blessings my friend.
Let me add a quote I'm using in the newsletter I'm working on at the moment.
Grief dares us to love once more.
Terry Tempest Williams
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