Your lighting and post production work are fabulous! I agree that the shoulder is distracting, though in an odd way I could like it. The one thing I would change is you crop at the bottom. As it is it appears as an implied nude because the crop is so low, which would be fine, but then at the very right edge of her breasts we see a corner of her top. I know it's a very small thing, but it totally distracts me from what is otherwise a beautiful portrait. I think if you raise the crop to just above her top, the picture would be perfect.
I also agree that that pose is, while trendy, about as unflattering as it gets. Coming from an exercise physiology background, that rounded shoulder look is not only disfiguring, but just plain unattractive.
I am anxious for the time when this overused pose dies a painful death.
