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Archive 2010 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL

  
 
gravygraffix
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


not entirely wedding related, bout 2%

but I enjoy a good laff and yall my friends so here is a post from Chicago CL that happened this eve... orig post then they posed a blanket reply on the bottom

(sorry for the formatting.... i dont feel like fixing it )

wall of text:

WE NEED AN AWESOME PHOTOGRAPHER FOR OUR UPSCALE EVENT!!! IT COSTS A LOT OF MONEY TO RUN THIS 6 HOUR EVENT, SO WE DON'T HAVE A BUDGET FOR PHOTOGRAPHER. BUT THIS IS AN AWESOME OPPORTUNITY FOR ANY TRUE PROFESSIONAL FOR NETWORKING AND PORTFOLIO, AND YOU CAN ALSO BUY OUR
PRODUCTS. YOU CAN ALSO HAVE SOME FOOD AND DRINK WHEN YOU HAVE A LITTLE BREAK. WE NEED YOU TO BRING YOUR OWN EQUIPMENT: HI-END CAMERAS AND
BACKGROUNDS AS WELL AS A FEW SOURCES OF LIGHT. WE WERE TOLD THAT PRO
PHOTO IS THE BEST FOR LIGHTING PEOPLE. YOU WILL ALSO NEED TO BRING A
PRINTER SO WE CAN PRINT THE PHOTOS AND SELL THEM. YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO
SELL WE WILL SELL. PARKING AROUND HERE IS PRETTY EXPENSIVE, SO YOU MAY
WANT TO PARK ELSEWHERE AND JUST BRING YOUR EQUIPMENT ON A DOLLY.
YOU WILL NEED TO COORDINATE THE BACKGROUND SHOOTING AND CANDID SHOOTING
WITH 3 PEOPLE HERE, SO IT WOULD BE HELPFUL IF YOU BRING AN ASSISTANT. IT
WOULD ALSO BE GREAT IF ASSISTANT HAD A PHOTO BOOTH. WE READ ABOUT IT
SOMEWHERE, IT'S VERY NICE. THE SHOOTING WILL HAVE TO TAKE PLACE ON 3
FLOORS, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO GO BACK AND FORTH. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TALK
TO PEOPLE AND ESTABLISH PRODUCTIVE CONNECTIONS.
YOU WILL NEED TO PROVIDE US WITH YOUR WEBSITE WITH THE MOST RECENT WORK
SHOOTING GREAT EVENTS. THE PHOTOS HAVE TO BE DATED, SO WE CAN SEE THEY
ARE RECENT. IT WOULD ALSO HELP A LOT IF YOU COULD PROVIDE US WITH AT
LEAST THREE REFERENCES FROM REPUTABLE COMPANIES. YOU ALSO HAVE TO HAVE A
LIABILITY INSURANCE AND A GREAT OUTGOING PERSONALITY AND ABILITY TO
ENTERTAIN OUR GUESTS DURING THE SHOOT.
PLEASE SEND US A FULL RESUME WITH ALL YOUR CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY
ACHIEVEMENTS. REMEMBER WE CAN ONLY PROVIDE THIS GREAT PHOTO OPPORTUNITY
FOR THE BEST PHOTOGRAPHER.

WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR SUBMISSIONS. THE EVENT WILL TAKE PLACE IN
TWO WEEKS. WE EXPECT A LOT OF SUBMISSIONS, SO WE WON'T BE ABLE TO
RESPOND. WE WILL RESPOND TO THE WINNER.



==================================================================================


HOW DARE YOU! SENDING ME ALL THOSE INSULTING RESPONSES IN RETURN FOR MY
UNIQUE OFFER. NO, I'M NOT GOING TO PUT ALL MY STUFF ON A BIG F..ING
DOLLY AND HEAD OFF DOWN THE STEEPEST F...G SLOPE! YOU DO THAT!!!

I POSTED THIS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND DOZENS OF PROFESSIONALS
RESPONDED FROM ALL CHICAGO LAND. THEY HAD AWESOME EQUIPMENT AND BOOTHS
AND AWESOME RESUMES AND REFERENCES, AND ALL. ONE EVEN HAD THE BROWNCOLOR
LIGHT THATS SHE SAID WAS MORE AWESOME THAN ANYTHING. I WAS ALSO OFFERED
EDITING SERVICES AT NO COST TO ME. THESE INDIVIDUALS , UNLIKE SOME OF
YOU, KNOW THAT IN THIS ECONOMY YOU HAVE TO WORK YOUR WAY UP FROM THE
BOTTOM AND PROVE YOURSELF. ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF THE CHALLENGE OF A FAST
PACED ENVIRONMENT I OFFERED. DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING ON THE
PLATTER HANDED TO YOU. EVEN IF YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL YOU HAVE TO PROVE
THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING PAID. PHOTOGRAPHY IS SO OVERPAID AND
OVERATED THESE DAYS. MY COUSIN HAD TO PAY A WHOOPING $100/PER HOUR TO A
PHOTOGRAPHER FOR HER 10 HOUR WEDDING AND AN ALBUM AND SEVERAL LARGE
PRINTS. THIS IS HIGHWAY ROBBERY. I ONLY GET PAID $50 PER HOUR AND I DO
WAY MUCH THAN ANY PHOTOGRAPHER DOES. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TURN ON THE
LIGHTS AND PRESS THE BUTTONS OF YOUR CAMERAS, AND DRIVE BACK AND FORTH
TO WORK. HOW DIFFICULT IT CAN BE!? I HAVE A NIKOR AND CANNONS CAMERAS
GIVEN TO ME FOR BIRTHDAY AND I COULD DO THIS PHOTOSHOOT MYSELF. ALL I
HAVE TO DO IS TO LEARN WHAT BUTTONS TO PRESS. I MEAN HOW HARD COULD THIS
BE. GET A CLUE YOURSELVES.

BTW, I HAVE A WINNING INDIVIDUAL WITH AWESOME RESUME AND BROWNCOLOR
EQUIPMENT, AND IF SHE WORKS OUT I'M GOING TO OFFER HER GIGS PAID $20 PER
HOUR, AND SHE'S SOO HAPPY ABOUT IT THAT SHE SAID SHE WOULD THROW IN FREE
EDITING. NOW HERE'S THE ONE WHO WILL SUCCEED. SHE WILL HAVE AN
OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE HER CARDS TO ALL MY GUESTS AND HAVE ONE FREE
PRODUCT. I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER!!!



Feb 23, 2010 at 09:39 PM
jcolman
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Where can I find this awesome BROWNCOLOR EQUIPMENT!! I need to get me some so I too can be a winning individual!!


Feb 23, 2010 at 09:51 PM
BenV
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


im in shock, not sure how to reply to be honest. All I want to know is what does the person do to make $50 an hour? I need that job :-p


Feb 23, 2010 at 09:56 PM
Tyson Egbert
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Fo' realz!


Feb 23, 2010 at 09:57 PM
stillresonance
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p.1 #5 · p.1 #5 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


jcolman wrote:
Where can I find this awesome BROWNCOLOR EQUIPMENT!! I need to get me some so I too can be a winning individual!!


Me too! I wish I had some BROWNCOLOR LIGHTS too, allz I got iz diz one GRAYLIGHTNING thing, needs to re-up my quips fo sho



Feb 23, 2010 at 10:00 PM
amonline
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p.1 #6 · p.1 #6 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Obviously, a photographer in Chicago just got hit up to do a corporate gig photo booth for next to nothing.


Feb 23, 2010 at 10:08 PM
koprivakopriva
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p.1 #7 · p.1 #7 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Calling that gig 'corporate' is giving that clown too much credit. Haha what a goon.


Feb 23, 2010 at 10:23 PM
srclark
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p.1 #8 · p.1 #8 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Good trolling is an art form.


Feb 23, 2010 at 10:33 PM
roanjohnnyc
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p.1 #9 · p.1 #9 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Oh my!!! thanks for the laugh!!!


Feb 23, 2010 at 10:34 PM
amonline
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p.1 #10 · p.1 #10 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


It's really sad that I have started clicking threads when I see jeremy reply... only looking for the latest image.


Feb 23, 2010 at 10:58 PM
jeremy_clay
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p.1 #11 · p.1 #11 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


amonline wrote:
It's really sad that I have started clicking threads when I see jeremy reply... only looking for the latest image.


More sad is how readily I access these things. Go outside moar JC.



Feb 23, 2010 at 11:00 PM
srclark
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p.1 #12 · p.1 #12 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


Haha...that's quality....


Feb 23, 2010 at 11:59 PM
nfoto
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p.1 #13 · p.1 #13 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


i'm glad i got the job, i only have to pay for airfare and extra bag fees for my brown color lights.


Feb 24, 2010 at 02:21 AM
Quan
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p.1 #14 · p.1 #14 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


i can haz brown colored equipment plz?


Feb 24, 2010 at 02:52 AM
JHerr
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p.1 #15 · p.1 #15 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


brown colored equipment, I think things just got a bit racist :S


Feb 24, 2010 at 03:29 AM
Chris Beaumont
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p.1 #16 · p.1 #16 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


JHerr wrote:
brown colored equipment, I think things just got a bit racist :S


White lights > brown lights.



Feb 24, 2010 at 04:35 AM
JakeB.
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p.1 #17 · p.1 #17 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


When I grow up I wanna be able to troll like that... does anyone know if there's a school I can go to for that?


Feb 24, 2010 at 07:07 AM
Italo Campilii
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p.1 #18 · p.1 #18 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


OMG.


Feb 24, 2010 at 09:31 AM
jprezant
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p.1 #19 · p.1 #19 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


for me to poop on.


Feb 24, 2010 at 10:59 AM
cbres00
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p.1 #20 · p.1 #20 · LAWLZ!!! EPIC FAIL


jprezant wrote:
for me to poop on.


Prezant the Comic Insult Photographer!



Feb 24, 2010 at 11:46 AM
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