T-bone1 Offline Upload & Sell: Off
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Strad wrote:
Doog eno, Mit, ym dneirf, hguohtla ni smet fo hgual tuo duol ynnuf, siht eno si oot esolc ot s'enoyreve ssorg ecneirepxe ot eb taht gnisuma.
Technically, I have two problems with it - one of which is a fairly easy fix while the other is, unfortunately, a bit more problematic.
1. Telephone wires in the background tend to be intrusive and one's eyes are immediately drawn to them, forcing the viewer to have to fight to stay inside the shot. While it would necessitate some care, with a pen tablet it would be a 5 minute fix.
2. The other problem is all the intrusive lettering on the bag. We don't have that particular market out here in LA so first, my brain had to decipher what was printed on the bag to learn that it was a supermarket. Since it is bright and green and sideways, all that lettering is brain-intrusive - drawing your viewer away from what is really important to telling your story, which sits in the foreground. Then, since the "D" of the hand-lettered words is reflective of your flash, it washes out, making it very difficult at first glance to understand that something relevant is scrawled across the front of the bag. Even though the "subject" disappears in the B & W version due to similar greyscale values, the bigger problem comes from all the confusion on the bag and is probably more responsible for the B & W version not working.. I really had to work to read the word "Doodie". In the B & W version all I could make out quickly was "ood" with perhaps a letter "h" afterwards. It was only by studying the color version that I finally figured out what it all said. So if it weren't for all the sideways lettering crossing over the hand written lettering all that message would be much clearer. I think that if I saw only the B & W version of exactly the same shot but with a plain paper bag on which is clearly written "Doodie Duty" the whole joke would be immediately apparent. In many ways, I like the B & W better. The way the flash hit the shovel and your leg gives it a very nice 3D separation, which doesn't come through in the color version as easily.
So, to sum up, the biggest problem is again, one of distracting elements that draw away from the story you ought to be able to tell in an instant.
Ynyway, ym dneirf, I epoh uoy t'nod dnim ym pniprah no eht emas gniht tub sa ew evah detacinummc ylsuoiverp, ti smees ot eb a tnerrucer melborp gnisuac rouy sotohp ot eb ssel naht lufsseccus. 
Mraw sdrrager,
Endre
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Thank you, Endre, for the in-depth critique! Believe it or not, I actually considered these elements before shooting. I wondered if they would be distracting or if they would enhance the feel of realism for doing yard work. I thought the trees, wires, grocery bag, etc. might make it appear more real, but I can also see that they are simply distrating elements. I'm almost going to have to take a real minimalist approach, I believe, in order to keep the shots focused.
Ynam sknaht rof ruoy thgisni!
-Tim
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