RustyBug Offline Upload & Sell: On
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I can relate ... I'm an armchair / couch editor, also. The form factor of the laptop with built in display is convenient. I've considered a desktop / tower to put beside me, but the issue becomes that of how to get the monitor in front of you, the way a laptop does.
I too explored the issue of getting external processing power to my former laptop, but found no good solution, so I bit the bullet and upgraded to my (current) ThinkPad X1 Extreme with graphic card. That is now getting a bit long in the tooth, and I've tried out a couple different versions of a MBP.
Similar to your point about not getting along with the Mac ethos / OS ... I will say that once I was in my editing software (Bridge / ACR / PS), the "Mac" ethos wasn't really that bothersome. Granted, outside of the editing application presented more challenges for adjustment, but it did the job well ... FLUID, FLUID, FLUID for my brush work, etc. when pushing things that would bog down my X1 (with 64GB). If you value the GPU side of things ... I'd recommend taking a Mac out for a spin. Yeah ... I know, I know. It might not be a today thing, but as a long time "NOT MAC" user, I'm a bit of a convert in the making ... might be something to explore for saving up toward.
Not much help here ... just moral support to the dilemma ... since those who aren't "armchair" editors, may not relate.
One other thought, I've used LR (briefly) with an i-Pad Pro (M2 chip), so there's that wrt to how surprisingly well it works.
Wish I had more to offer that is direct in line with your eGPU quest, but I decided to save for the upgrade. Yeah, it stung for a little while, but that got forgotten in time, and you end up asking yourself, why you didn't do it sooner? Of course, we already know the answer, but ... it stings once, then you get on with things, and you're glad you did.
HTH
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