Jim Rickards
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Kids birthday parties make good memories, so you will cherish this shot just the way it is. You asked if it was pulling me in. Not really. I see so many things other than the child.
Here are issues that come to mind for me and ways to make future shots like this even more memorable.
Expression. Seems to not like the camera pointed at her or didn't like the taste of the icing. If you like her expression, disregard this comment. All expression can be interesting. Happy expressions at parties are popular.
Distractions - somebody's head, bottom right. Half a head, left side. Arm, top right. Other child looking away. Food plates cropped. Big orange blur, left side (balloon, I guess). The viewer looks at these things instead of the birthday girl.
Llighting. The eyes are dark from the high sun. A little fill flash would bring them out.
Aperture selection. Would have been nice to see the cake and the balloon, if they were in focus.
Suggestions
If you are going to shoot wide and show the second child, attract their attention before the shot. Then they will be part of the shot, since they are looking at the camera. For an individual shot, shoot wide open and blur other things.
Shoot stopped down more to get more things in focus.
Crop with an awareness of the edges of the frame. When viewing the scene in person, the edges are not an issue. We "tune them out" somehow with our eyes/brain. When we take a photo, these thing become distractions to your subject.
I hope these points help you make even better photos next time.
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