leethecam
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It's often difficult to get some people to like their pictures - no matter how good a job we do.
However, I'll offer up a couple of suggestions.
I'm thinking the key light could be a little more central and slightly higher. Balance it out a little with a refelctor underneath. This gets you a slightly better jaw line shadow which adds definition.
Your hairlight is doing the job, but there is no rim light from behind. A lower rim skimming the edge of hair/face on the opposite side of the key adds a wonderful dimension and life to the shot.
The first lady has shine on her top lip and across her forehead. I carry a few simple powders that work well. (MAC 25, 30, 35 and dark, deep dark, medium). Nothing fancy but often helps.
1st and last shots have subjects looking a little hunched. I tell people to imagine a hook in the top of their head, pulling their who body, head, neck upwards. I'm sure you've heard of the "turtle neck" technique for getting a good jawline. Works with some people, dreadful for others with no coordination - but give it a try.
Images look like they've got a little extra clarity being added. Do you process in LR ? The clarity tool in LR is quite viscous and often not good for skin. (Have a look at Capture One, which has better clarity tools which mean you can slightly soften skin whilst adding structure to regain the definition by using the Natural Clarity option).
Ther's a tendancy for a little excess red in the images. Again Capture One does a better job than LR for colours. (I find it's great but often needs saturation pulled down by about 10-15). Or look at your camera profile options. Choose or create one that doesn't accentutate the reds in skin.
A slightly shallower depth of field helps add a little interest and... depth. I find F4 on full frame with a 100 - 130 mm focal length gives a good balance.
There's certainly nothing wrong with your images, but there's scope for people to fall more in love with them.
Oh, and here's a daft thing - but it works... Exclaim haw amazing the shots are from the get-go. "Wow that looks great, you'll love this, wat till you see how wonderful you look, oh that's sooo much better - now you've got it...." This is the point where someone has to disagree with your considered opinion, and they're less likely to do that than if you meekly ask if it's OK. Confidence breeds confidence.
I shoot tethered so they can see a decent size version of the shots and I offer them the option to choose their favourite (of all those wonderful shots). Again it breeds confidence and if they're not sure, push them back infront of the lens to the tune of "we've got great shots but I know you'=ve got somethng more for me). + big smiles and confidence...
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