Thoughts.. for a newbie
/forum/topic/1164450/0



fingerlessfred
Registered: Jan 24, 2012
Total Posts: 47
Country: United States

I was with my twins- in Hiroshima and I saw them both staring at what used to be the Civic Center during the A-bomb dropping. My mother lived though this part of the war, so the family history is strong. Besides that- I grabbed my camera and took the shot. I think I saw "a perfect picture" moment. I love this picture for what it represents- but feed back on composition and so forth would be great so the next time will be better.

Thanks in advance for the time...



ben egbert
Registered: Jan 31, 2005
Total Posts: 6753
Country: United States

This reminds me of when I was viewing the Pearl Harbor exhibit. A deep emotional connection is felt but hard to convey in a photo. It will probably bring back memories for you of the moment and reconnect the feeling. This happens for me with a lot of my images, but others can't make the emotional leap.

Its a two part thing, it requires both a memory and the image which triggers it. Hard to supply the memory for those who don't have it.

Technically I wish the building was more in focus I would apply some distortion correction to fix the fence rail and I would clone out the tree leaves at the right.



silvawispa
Registered: Nov 10, 2008
Total Posts: 693
Country: United Kingdom

I would rather critique, in terms of composition etc, less personal, and potentially emotionally charged photos than this.

It's not an ideal teaching/learning scenario.

You do however have an image that means a lot to you, although technically it's not great. The fact that you love the image makes it wonderful and valuable.

I can appreciate the desire to be able to do it better, to carry across more of the feeling of that moment. I just don't feel comfortable degrading(by picking fault, albeit to suggest improvements) something with obvious value to you.

Could it have been done better by you at that moment in time? Probably not.

Do you really want to look at it through other peoples eyes, purely on its technical merits?



fingerlessfred
Registered: Jan 24, 2012
Total Posts: 47
Country: United States

Thank you both for the comments. Composition wise- yes I do want "suggestion" or constructive criticism. Emotional values aside- Maybe I could have shot the image from a lower angle... But I don't mind better photographers telling me how to compose it better or anything I could have done better.



AuntiPode
Registered: Aug 05, 2008
Total Posts: 6921
Country: New Zealand

I agree a lower angle would have been better - it would reduce the conceptual barrier of the fence between the girls and the wreckage.



Jo Dilbeck
Registered: Dec 20, 2007
Total Posts: 2399
Country: United States

Karen's crop is exactly what I thought when I viewed the image. Less clutter on the sides. I DO feel the emotion you were experiencing and I believe it is conveyed through the image. What might have added to the effect, but also brought in more clutter unfortunately, would have been a vertical shot with the girls with their arms around each other, or holding hands.

Jo



jdonaldallen
Registered: May 19, 2005
Total Posts: 222
Country: United States

I was there in 1957. Looks the same.



fingerlessfred
Registered: Jan 24, 2012
Total Posts: 47
Country: United States

Thanks to everyone who posted. Im going back again in the Spring and my kids will be with me... i will probably reshoot the image with the above suggestions. I will repost in April.

Thanks...



ben egbert
Registered: Jan 31, 2005
Total Posts: 6753
Country: United States

It occurs to me that the only way to avoid that railing is to have the kids stand on something so that their heads are above the top rail. Maybe they will grow? Probably not that much.



fingerlessfred
Registered: Jan 24, 2012
Total Posts: 47
Country: United States

The one on the right is on a curb- thats why she is taller than her twin sister. I will try that for sure.



RustyBug
Registered: Feb 02, 2009
Total Posts: 13208
Country: United States

Took a stab at some WB tweak and some sharpening, along with a little keystoning tweak.

I'm sure that the memory of being there will be one that they carry with them throughout their life. Likely another one of those times when the image can't compare with being there, yet it will serve as a cherished reminder of the shared family experience.

I realize it was probably serendipitous, but the "new generation" of building in the background is both a contrast with history that suggests life beyond tragedy @ new growth ... and is kinda harmonious with the generation (in the foreground) that is viewing it as an even "newer" one.