Jody Melanson
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Dedicated FM
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 p.1 #1 · One of my typical days. | |
My typical shooting day goes like this:
The night before, I charge all of my batteries. (all 417 of them  )
I then put on my camo jammies and promptly jump into bed to sleep at 6:30pm and have dreams of capturing some awesome images.
My alarm goes off at 3:18am which causes me to spring out of bed and immediately bang my shins on the bedside table causing a huge ruckus which in turn causes my half a sleep wife to throw things at me and tell me to get the heck out.
Keeping the lights off as to not disturb my wife, I limp to the bathroom, and because of the darkness, I brush my teeth using a tube of Preparation H as the cleansing agent. This results in me gagging and spewing a Preparation H/spit mixture all over the bathroom. I do however notice a reduction in swelling in my lips that were swollen from my wife's bedside lamp hitting me there only minutes earlier.
Still in darkness, I slip/slide from the bathroom in the Prep H/spit mixture, and stealthily trip over the corner of the bed while heading to the closet. After narrowly missing splitting my head open again on the edge of the dresser, I expertly roll into the closet.
Because it is getting colder, I put on an under armor long sleeve t-shirt and some under armor long johns. Then I put on some fleece long johns and matching t-shirt. Next on are my camo undies. This makes me look quite studly. You know, like how Superman wears his underwear on the outside of his pants. Then I put on a camo flannel shirt and some camo pants. Next I put on a camo sweatshirt followed by my lucky bright red tank top.
I then quietly fall down the stairs ripping the @ss out of my pants. A couple of well placed yards of duct tape fixes this minor setback right up!
I hobble into the kitchen for a hearty breakfast. Trying to get into the right frame of mind for my day of bird shooting, I want to think like a bird, so, I eat 3 lbs of wild bird seed and a couple of suet cakes. (this also helps keep me regular!)
I head out the door and drive for 95 minutes towards a hot birding spot. As I am pulling into this location, the sun is slowly making a grand appearance. Beautiful light is streaming through the trees. I turn around, head back home and grab my forgotten camera gear.
I am driving a little fast to make up some lost time while heading back. The kind police officer smiles while handing me the $495.00 speeding ticket for doing 85 mph over the limit.
I continue my journey and was enjoying some nice scenery in this desolate stretch I'm passing through when my car stalls from the empty gas tank. A nice driver pulls over 2 hours later and gave me a ride into town to get some gas. Before dropping me off, he steals my wallet and pushes me out of the car as we pass a gas station.
After begging for an hour to some truckers, I scrounge up enough money for some gas. I catch a ride with a friendly trucker to go back to my car which is no longer there as it has been stolen along with all my gear.
It now starts to rain. Hard.
I walk/limp home.
This about sums up one of my standard shooting days. Seriously though, I don't even own a camera, I create all of my pictures in Photoshop! 
(the above was the truth, the whole truth, and everything but the truth!)
Red Breasted Merganser
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Hooded Merganser
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Hoodie
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Drag racing Hoodies!
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A 5 image pano from one of the places I shoot
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Hoodie
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Quack!
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Red Breasted Merganser
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Red Breasted Merganser.......now in stereo!
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Juvenile Goshawk
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Hoodie trying to get my attention
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Quack!
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I be leaf this is the last image
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Its okay folks, I found my meds......ahhhhhh......
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. I think I'll go see the Monkey instead. 
almost as good as the photography