The night before, I charge all of my batteries. (all 417 of them )
I then put on my camo jammies and promptly jump into bed to sleep at 6:30pm and have dreams of capturing some awesome images.
My alarm goes off at 3:18am which causes me to spring out of bed and immediately bang my shins on the bedside table causing a huge ruckus which in turn causes my half a sleep wife to throw things at me and tell me to get the heck out.
Keeping the lights off as to not disturb my wife, I limp to the bathroom, and because of the darkness, I brush my teeth using a tube of Preparation H as the cleansing agent. This results in me gagging and spewing a Preparation H/spit mixture all over the bathroom. I do however notice a reduction in swelling in my lips that were swollen from my wife's bedside lamp hitting me there only minutes earlier.
Still in darkness, I slip/slide from the bathroom in the Prep H/spit mixture, and stealthily trip over the corner of the bed while heading to the closet. After narrowly missing splitting my head open again on the edge of the dresser, I expertly roll into the closet.
Because it is getting colder, I put on an under armor long sleeve t-shirt and some under armor long johns. Then I put on some fleece long johns and matching t-shirt. Next on are my camo undies. This makes me look quite studly. You know, like how Superman wears his underwear on the outside of his pants. Then I put on a camo flannel shirt and some camo pants. Next I put on a camo sweatshirt followed by my lucky bright red tank top.
I then quietly fall down the stairs ripping the @ss out of my pants. A couple of well placed yards of duct tape fixes this minor setback right up!
I hobble into the kitchen for a hearty breakfast. Trying to get into the right frame of mind for my day of bird shooting, I want to think like a bird, so, I eat 3 lbs of wild bird seed and a couple of suet cakes. (this also helps keep me regular!)
I head out the door and drive for 95 minutes towards a hot birding spot. As I am pulling into this location, the sun is slowly making a grand appearance. Beautiful light is streaming through the trees. I turn around, head back home and grab my forgotten camera gear.
I am driving a little fast to make up some lost time while heading back. The kind police officer smiles while handing me the $495.00 speeding ticket for doing 85 mph over the limit.
I continue my journey and was enjoying some nice scenery in this desolate stretch I'm passing through when my car stalls from the empty gas tank. A nice driver pulls over 2 hours later and gave me a ride into town to get some gas. Before dropping me off, he steals my wallet and pushes me out of the car as we pass a gas station.
After begging for an hour to some truckers, I scrounge up enough money for some gas. I catch a ride with a friendly trucker to go back to my car which is no longer there as it has been stolen along with all my gear.
It now starts to rain. Hard.
I walk/limp home.
This about sums up one of my standard shooting days. Seriously though, I don't even own a camera, I create all of my pictures in Photoshop!
(the above was the truth, the whole truth, and everything but the truth!)
Too much detail Jody! (I mean the story - the images don't have enough detail). . Just kidding. great story and I have been there (well not that bad) and fantastic images as usual. I particularly like the stereo mergansers!
Documentary almost.......... almost as good as the photography
You had me rollin Jody and I'm confident (as are no doubt many others on this forum) that many of the things you described happen to me on a regular basis
You are lucky however......my wife keeps an iron frying pan next to her side of the bed
I could have sworn I've read this story before but the images look different. Could it be I dreamed the story, transmitted it to you via ESP, and you're only now really posting it? Nah!
Jody Melanson wrote:
1 I turn around, head back home and grab my forgotten camera gear.
2 I am driving a little fast to make up some lost time while heading back. The kind police officer smiles while handing me the $495.00 speeding ticket for doing 85 mph over the limit.
3 It now starts to rain. Hard.
4 I walk/limp home.
Now I can relate to THESE four things Jody! Wonderful set by the way as well! I just love the dedication to crouching down and gettin the low angle shots man. I need to start bringing grungy pants so I can get down low to give my photos HALF the chance of looking like yours!
) 
. I think I'll go see the Monkey instead. 
almost as good as the photography