HiltonP
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 p.4 #5 · Uncomfortable Situation | |
unblinkable wrote:
europedreamer wrote:
Melanie,
As always, you did an amazing job capturing the couple. You composition and toning are spot on.
Maybe it's because I'm taking a course in disabilities now, but for whatever reason, your post stuck with me. I understand you saying that you would have liked a heads up on what to expect from the bride, however, it shouldn't be like that. Kudos to the bride for being comfortable enough with herself to not even mention anything to you. We, as photographers and as people, shouldn't be uncomfortable with the way anyone looks. You get there, you start shooting. There should be not elephant in the room just a joyful bride and an eager photographer.
I'm not saying you did anything wrong, I'm merely getting on my soap box to say that we shouldn't expect anyone to reveal exceptionalities. You wouldn't expect a bride to say, "oh, by the way, I'm blonde, 5'10" and a knock-out." Why should the girl whose not be expected to do the same thing?
I really hope this makes sense.
You know, I totally understand what you're saying... and maybe it's because of having a disabled sister that I see things from a different view. I can't imagine Maureen NOT having told someone that she was wheelchair bound... or that she lost her leg to cancer... it's part of who she WAS, yes... but it's not the norm... and it's understandable that someone coming in to do something as intimate as photography be more in the know to the whole picture. I think everyone might come at these things from a myriad of different angles... and more than a few of them can be spot on, depending on who you are and what you're trying to do. 
As an active individual who has spent the last 32 years permanently in a wheelchair, perhaps I can comment . . . The more active a disabled person is, the more people they will meet (in work, in play, etc, etc). If one follows the principle of introducing yourself as being disabled you could end up doing it multiple times each and every day (in interviews, business meetings, restaurant bookings, theatre bookings, etc). It gets to be a bit crazy after a while. Think about it, imagine feeling the need to introduce yourself “hi I’m Hilton, I’m disabled”. It has an AA ring about it, except that you’re not in rehab, you’re just you.
Yes, I am disabled, no escaping that! . . . but I am not ashamed of my disability, and more importantly I am also not defined by it. I don’t want people to build up pre-conceived ideas about me, based on a possible telephone comment. Your bride probably feels that way.
Exceptionally tall people don’t introduce themselves as being tall. Obese people don’t introduce themselves as being overweight. Old people don’t introduce themselves as being elderly. Negroid people don’t introduce themselves as being black. (all of these could impact on a wedding photogs plans)
Don’t rule out the possibility that you were being tested, to judge your reaction, and how you were going to work out. I would say you passed with flying colours, despite your being uncomfortable with it.
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