Upload & Sell: Off
Dear Sir Donald,
It's so nice to hear from you following your recent computer difficulties – tricky customers those on / off switches – and so cunningly disguised too, with words like “Power” and “On” - all very confusing.
Now you know very well that I did none of the bad behaviour detailed previously. Everyone knows that lady Grey is far too gracious to mention such things in a public place such as this. Might I suggest a little more study of your “Creative Writing For The Older Gentleman” course material might be in order?
Regarding “.....make the vehicle secure against rouges and...Show more →
Mr Johnson are you inferring that I was telling some untruths and masquerading as Lady Diana? Shame on you sir. I would never step so low as to render my honour and reputation in tatters.
Firstly, my recent computer difficulties was caused by a miscreant rodent that decided to up and die in a most undignified manner, leaving my computer incapacitated until after its funeral and subsequent reincarnation.
With regards to the events of Friday evening that Lady Diana so eloquently and succinctly described, she did refrain from mentioning several of the other alarming and strange events of that evening; We are still perplexed as to how did the statuette of the Goddess Venus have its head exchanged with the garden gnome? And how come the initials ‘NJ’ were deeply scratched on her left buttock? (I refer to the statuette's left buttock, not Lady Diana's)
Can you shed any light on how my zimmer (walker frame) became lodged high up the English Oak tree that you seemed to take a fancy to?
It took ages to untie the ‘I love the Rolling Stones’ banner from the TV antenna especially as we didn’t have a tv antenna in the first place.
Lady Diana has asked me to pass on to Mrs J her deepest sympathies and to say that she fully understands.
To all: Lady Diana & I would like it to be known by all and sundry of the immediate vacancy of Under-Butler with the prospects of being elevated to that of a ‘gentleman’s gentleman’ and companion. The prospective candidate must be of exemplary character, able to look after a gentleman of repute. Be of sober habits. And above all, have a sense of humour.
Edited on Jul 15, 2013 at 10:28 PM · View previous versions