Upload & Sell: On
Had I been commissioned for your assignment, I probably would have approached it with an editorial style. The look I would have been aiming for, as Steven alluded to, would have been strong, but warm. Casual, but not too casual, and I would have used key lighting with a little fill bounce to sculpt your face and take advantage of the character that resides there.
Had I the stature (or budget) of the gentleman so ably captured in your post, I'd have been honored to commission you, my friend. In this case, we were limited by time, circumstance, the photographer's skill, and the subject's appearance.
Steven's right in that neither one is a "great" result, of course, and I'm always happy to hear candid feedback... I happen to agree completely in both cases. I'm going to have to do better, obviously, both in front of and behind the camera. But for that one event, it'll have to do.