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 p.1 #1 · The story of the Canonites | |
Now the Canonites complained about their hardships in the hearing of Canon, and when they heard them their anger was aroused. Then fire from Canon burned among them and the 20D was released. When the people cried out to Canon, the fire died down for a time. So that place was called megapixel, because fire from Canon had burned among the Canonites.
After some months, the rabble with them began to crave other cameras, and again the Canonites started wailing and said, "If only we had more pixels! We remember the camera we used in Egypt - the lack of ISO in the viewfinder, the fact that we can’t get clean shots at ISO 6400, the lack of a good grip. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this crappy 20D!"
The Canonites went around gathering their unused cameras, and then ground it in the forums or crushed it in their complaints. They cooked it in a pot or made it into cakes. And it tasted like something made with linseed oil. When the dew settled on the camp at night, the banding also came out.
Canon heard the people of every family wailing, each at the entrance to his tent. Canon became exceedingly angry, and Mr. Yoroku Adachi was troubled. He asked the Board, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servants? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? Where can I get a better camera for all these people? They keep wailing to me, 'Give us more pixels!' I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin."
The Board said to Adachi: "Bring me seventy of fmForum’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the Tent of Meeting, that they may stand there with you. We will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the burden that is on you and put the 5D on them. This will help you carry the burden of the people so that you will not have to carry it alone.
"Tell the people: 'Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will get more pixels. The Board heard you when you wailed, "If only we had more pixels and ISO in the viewfinder! We were better off with our P&S!" Now the Board will give you the 5D, and you will use it. You will not use it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the 20D, who is among you, and have wailed before us, saying, "Why did we ever leave film?" ' "
Now a wind went out from the Board and drove a revision to be released. It brought out a subtle change to the 20D. All that day and night and all the next day the people went out and cried about this revision. No one embraced the new camera. Then the Board spread them out all around the camp. But while the 30D was still not released and before it could be used, the anger of the Board burned against the people, and they struck them with a severe plague. Therefore the place was named dpreview because there they buried the people who had craved other cameras.
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