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Archive 2017 · PTSD

  
 
twoshadows
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · PTSD


"Pissing On A House Fire" from Illuminate, © 2017 Ms Julian Grey.
https://static.wixstatic.com/media/90e2af_c5e69bf5a71642f5beff922915d2e9f2~mv2.jpg
"The positive effects I experience from medical marijuana: it keeps me from remembering the nightmares. It alleviates the weight of depression just enough to help with focus and motivation. It does not stop the dreams or depression. And when the full weight of my condition bears down on me, it is useless. For that there is nothing."

The series and associated writings can be found here:
Illuminate



Jan 20, 2017 at 10:02 AM
Andre Labonte
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · PTSD


I like this image ... and a perfect title for it. Well done.




Jan 20, 2017 at 06:17 PM
twoshadows
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · PTSD


Thank you, Andre.


Jan 20, 2017 at 08:23 PM
Archimedes
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · PTSD


As somebody who has suffered from PTSD his entire adult life, your Illuminate gallery was a very emotional experience for me. Thank you.


Jan 21, 2017 at 08:32 AM
twoshadows
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p.1 #5 · p.1 #5 · PTSD


Archimedes wrote:
As somebody who has suffered from PTSD his entire adult life, your Illuminate gallery was a very emotional experience for me. Thank you.


Archimedes, your words are an affirmation that I am not alone. Outside of a one-on-one clinical environment, I have not previously discussed this...

Thank you.






Jan 21, 2017 at 08:44 AM
Rick Joyce
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p.1 #6 · p.1 #6 · PTSD


This is a strong and poignantly graphic image accompanied by a truly telling text.


Jan 21, 2017 at 08:15 PM
DaleBerlin
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p.1 #7 · p.1 #7 · PTSD


I know very little about PTSD, but I do like the composition, tones, and depth of field used in your image.


Jan 21, 2017 at 10:00 PM
Allynb
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p.1 #8 · p.1 #8 · PTSD


good photo essay on your inner self.... I understand....


Jan 25, 2017 at 12:21 AM
Bobg657
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p.1 #9 · p.1 #9 · PTSD


Very powerful and moving series, wonderful work.


Jan 29, 2017 at 11:45 PM
twoshadows
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p.1 #10 · p.1 #10 · PTSD


Rick, Dale, Allyn & Bob,

I apologize for the group thank you. I'm still dealing with the effects of this event and still trying to finish this project so I can get it to exhibit. Your words are important to me. Thank you all.

There are more images, though I have yet to put them in the gallery. There is also more to read. This piece was written two nights ago. Again, thank you very much for your good words.

Kindness,

Miss Julian

"January 27 10:30 PM
Today makes 30 days of severe PTSD symptoms. The shouting and swearing continue, uncontrolled. Every noise is a trigger, every trigger a blow to my deteriorating system. The sleep terror/ wakeful exhaustion cycle continues unabated. Reprieves from my out-of-control physiology are brief and few. Nowhere and no one is safe. I am hunkered down in my home, unable to leave. I have every conceivable support: Friends who will stay up with me and help me fight, let me stay in their home - a quieter, calmer atmosphere, friends on call should I need to go into the hospital, psychiatrist, med nurse, therapist, medication, the Veterans Suicide Prevention hotline (their abilities are never to be underestimated), I am a graduate of 14 years of intensive, twice weekly therapy with the same therapist (the reason I am so self-aware and still alive today), I practice EMDR regularly, I have researched my condition down to the physiology that causes it. I am alive because of all of this, but what have I won? PTSD is the emotional equivalent of burning alive. Their intensity and immediacy are the same. There is no ability to think beyond the moment when one's only thought is how to end an untenable pain. Waking is an unending emotional stop, drop and roll. The dreams leave me in a heap on the floor, exhausted and retching, and it is at that time suicide becomes a comfort. The idea that it can all end, finally. I have thought about it often over 34 years of dealing with this. I have never tried. 30 days. No end in sight."



Jan 29, 2017 at 11:58 PM
Karl Witt
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p.1 #11 · p.1 #11 · PTSD


I'd like to see the Illuminate but I get an error message for the link?
Karl



Dec 07, 2022 at 11:05 PM
DanielScott
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p.1 #12 · p.1 #12 · PTSD


MartsRoy wrote:
No. Drugs are detrimental to health. I have huge psychological problems now, but I don't want to stoop to alcohol and drugs.


That's really very judgmental of you.



Dec 08, 2022 at 01:22 AM
Hoagie058
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p.1 #13 · p.1 #13 · PTSD


DanielScott wrote:
That's really very judgmental of you.


I absolutely agree. Pharmaceuticals are probably ok then?



Dec 08, 2022 at 09:27 AM
twoshadows
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p.1 #14 · p.1 #14 · PTSD


Thank you to those who have responded. Fortunately, that PTSD episode is nearly 6 years in my rear view mirror. I still deal with it, but I've gotten better at it. :-)

For those wanting to see the body of work, Illuminate, here is the site address:

www.xgender.net

Edited on Dec 09, 2022 at 09:26 AM · View previous versions



Dec 08, 2022 at 09:56 PM
bnfotografie
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p.1 #15 · p.1 #15 · PTSD




twoshadows wrote:
Thank you to those who have responded. Fortunately, that PTSD episode is nearly 6 years in my rear view mirror. I still deal with it, but I've gotten better at it. :-)

For those wanting to see the body of work, Illuminate, here is an updated link.

Illuminate


I also get an error message when clicking the updated link.



Dec 09, 2022 at 09:19 AM
twoshadows
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p.1 #16 · p.1 #16 · PTSD




bnfotografie wrote:
I also get an error message when clicking the updated link.


Fixed. Thanks for letting me know.



Dec 09, 2022 at 09:26 AM





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