John Koerner Offline [X]
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I think it's a pretty darned good image, by any account, given the difficulty of black-v-white, doubly-so if this is your first try
I am not sure what time of day you shot, but what I would try to get rid of is that "yellow wash" that plagues many flash shots as well as shots in direct sunlight. (I have taken the liberty to touch-up your image a bit, to show you what I mean:
I removed much of that "yellow wash" I was talking about. You will find many images ruined by the "yellow wash" ... but once you develop an eye for it, you can correct it (1) by choosing the right light, or (2) if you have to use harsh light, then to either a) use a color-checker to balance it out or b) try to remove it in post.
Still, that said, it is a pretty darned good image for a first attempt
Jack
PS: If you want me to delete my version of your photo, let me know and I will.
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