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Archive 2016 · Cookie Salesmen

  
 
eeneryma
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · Cookie Salesmen


With significant achievements. It was a beautiful day this past Sunday, touring the Lancaster, PA campus where my daughter goes to school. I came upon these ladies and bought a box of smores to help their cause.
Your suggestions and critiques appreciated.

Steve



© eeneryma 2015

Cookie Salesmen




Mar 01, 2016 at 09:43 PM
beavens
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · Cookie Salesmen


Steve,

With the Scouts' backs facing us and the potential customer looking down I feel like the human connection in this shot is missing the mark. I see cookie in the title, but no cookies in the frame! Granted, we all pretty much know about Girl Scout Cookies and probably make that connection whether we want to our not, but just some dessert for thought.

My eyes also keep getting pulled to the repeating swirl of the sashes and all the neat patches/badges they have on them. Doesn't help that they pop so hard off the dark-colored clothing either.

As always, my $0.02.

Cheers!

Jeff



Mar 02, 2016 at 09:39 AM
eeneryma
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · Cookie Salesmen


Your $.02 is always appreciated!

Steve



Mar 02, 2016 at 06:15 PM
Roasted_Photog
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · Cookie Salesmen


I feel like if you went really wide - included the body poses of the girl scouts and the individual in front of them, contrasted the shadows and highlights better, you might have a case. Alternatively, a side angle would work. In a side angle and very shallow DoF, you could incorporate the facial expressions of both parties, the scene, and create a dynamic shot.

My personal thought on the shot is that it is fairly weak. The heads of everyone are cropped out or missing a feature. I don't know where to look - what am I looking at? Before I take a shot of something, I always try to think about what will engage a viewer before the story. You can get away with dynamics more than you can with a story.

Cheers, Dom!



Mar 02, 2016 at 09:14 PM
eeneryma
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p.1 #5 · p.1 #5 · Cookie Salesmen


Hey Dom, and thanks for looking. You are right that there are many ways that this scene might have been shot.. But what I chose to focus on was the thing that impressed me the most: the two girls' sashes filled with merit badges. Merit badges have to be earned, through diligence, determination, and work. They show commitment and character, a hallmark of the Girl Scouts, and probably each girl would have a story to tell about what it took and what it felt like to earn each badge. To my way of thinking, the array of badges is far more important than seeing the girls' actual faces, as this approach also makes the photo more generalized than specific.

The photo in a sense is a quiet photo, meant to be more cerebral than"dynamic". Not trying to be defensive, just giving you my thought process, or as Jeff would say,"just my $.02." And Dom, welcome to photo critique.



Mar 02, 2016 at 11:13 PM
sbeme
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p.1 #6 · p.1 #6 · Cookie Salesmen


Steve,
I agree with the feedback above.
Apart from what attracted you to make the capture, it feels like an additional element of interest is needed to engage most viewers. The "human connection" is one option.
As part of a series of images making a thematic statement about findings along the streets might be another way to go.
Scott



Mar 03, 2016 at 11:32 AM
Linda Shorey
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p.1 #7 · p.1 #7 · Cookie Salesmen


eeneryma wrote:
...what I chose to focus on was the thing that impressed me the most: the two girls' sashes filled with merit badges. .... To my way of thinking, the array of badges is far more important than seeing the girls' actual faces, as this approach also makes the photo more generalized than specific...


I love the idea of showcasing the badges and that is the first thing I saw when I viewed. But almost immediately my attention was diverted to the young lady in the middle who is so brightly lit, center-placed, and has a bit of an uncomfortable expression. Without the title, I wouldn't know what was occurring, and because of the centered "buyer," I kind of forgot about what drew me in initially. A super idea for further shoots!



Mar 14, 2016 at 07:50 AM
eeneryma
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p.1 #8 · p.1 #8 · Cookie Salesmen


Agreed that the woman in the center is a distraction from my message. Thanks for posting.

steve



Mar 14, 2016 at 08:19 AM





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