Upload & Sell: On
Pray, rinse, repeat.
Already in motion, Alan.
Side note in case it helps. I've only had surgery once and being a guy that is, by nature, something of a control freak, I was amazed at the sense of inner peace that came over me as they were wheeling me into surgery.
At that moment, nothing was in my control. I had turned myself over to this medical team to render me unconscious and heal me as they saw fit.
Until that moment, I never realized how much stress and concern I constantly carry over day-to-day life, family and work stuff. At that moment, knowing I had no control over anything for the next few hours was utter bliss for me.
I guess that's why some profoundly religious people are largely at peace. I suppose they have a constant awareness that they are not in control - that God is - and that it's a fool's errand to pretend we are.
In any case - I'd happily go through surgery again if only to feel that completely free feeling once more.
Certainly that's not in anyway said to dismiss the gravity of what you're going through. Not in the least. I'm just offering that experience and perspective in the hope of soothing your nerves a bit.