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Retired - How to turn down friends?
  
 
blsphoto
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


I retired from 25 years of doing professional photography 2 years ago. Over the past 2 years I have been approached by friends, family and my church to do work for them (some paid, some not). While I feel obligated to help people close to me, deep down I really have no desire to do this type of work anymore. I am finally ready to turn everyone down who asks, but haven't come up with a way to do it that doesn't sound arrogant or selfish. Anybody with a good response I could use?

B



Mar 19, 2014 at 12:01 PM
trenchmonkey
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


The truth usually works best "I'm burned out and just not doing this anymore, sorry"
Having a referral handy to recommend...will soften the blow. I had to deal with this
after 30 yrs as an irrigation contractor, gets easier to tell them no...after awhile. GL



Mar 19, 2014 at 12:06 PM
RonR2
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


I don't do any commercial photography as I've retired, I suggest you contact so and so and here's their business card, they do quality work.


Mar 20, 2014 at 02:35 PM
Deezie
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


Yeah, I'm not retired, but I get this a lot. It's like being the guy with a pickup truck who's always getting asked to move their friends couch and other belongings. I simply tell them, "Thank you, but, no. I'm really not interested in doing that."


Mar 20, 2014 at 02:41 PM
mikethevilla
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p.1 #5 · p.1 #5 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


"Why yes, I do still shoot photos. My daily rates start at $3500."

Whenever I have a miserable sounding job I need to quote. I quote them extremely high so that they scoff and run.
And if they agree to my ridiculous price? So much the better.

Edited on Mar 20, 2014 at 02:51 PM · View previous versions



Mar 20, 2014 at 02:48 PM
Game Changer
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p.1 #6 · p.1 #6 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


"One meeellion dollars..."


Mar 20, 2014 at 02:50 PM
kateman
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p.1 #7 · p.1 #7 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


^^+1
only... " TWO meeellion dollars"
Game... made me laugh out loud and that startled my dogs!
great end to a LONG day.
Thanks, OP
B



Mar 20, 2014 at 08:59 PM
dmacmillan
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p.1 #8 · p.1 #8 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


I get a double whammy based on my second career. I saw a t shirt in Charleston that I should have bought. It says "No, I won't fix your computer".

Actually I guess it's a triple whammy since I also own a pickup truck!



Mar 21, 2014 at 01:21 AM
 

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cope07
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p.1 #9 · p.1 #9 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


If they are in Connecticut you can send them all to me....


Mar 23, 2014 at 02:01 AM
Beni
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p.1 #10 · p.1 #10 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


I sold all my event gear and got an A7r with some old manual focus primes. It's an easy answer, 'I just don't have the equipment any more'...


Mar 23, 2014 at 04:46 PM
John Wheeler
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p.1 #11 · p.1 #11 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


Hi B
Two approaches that I have used in similar circumstances
a) For those not super close to you "Thanks for considering me and I am flattered yet that is just not going to work out for me"... followed up with offering a couple references if they are interested which you supply if they are interested. This approach says "no" without having to say anything about your self. Extremely rare that anyone pushes for more information.

b) For personal relationships that you value: "Thanks for considering me and I am flattered yet I value our personal relationship too much to insert a work related relationship between us". I have found in my own "mostly retirement" situation that I highly value my relationships and do not want to add risk to them with other arrangements be it a job offer, personal loan, etc. Then follow up with the offer of references. The other person pushing the issue is unlikely as it would almost be saying that they would not mind risking the relationship. I find this later one works well with close relationships on many fronts because it is simple, personal, and true with a minimal risk to bad feelings.

Just my thoughts of course.



Mar 24, 2014 at 03:58 PM
aboudd
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p.1 #12 · p.1 #12 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


My father used to say that anyone who lived to be 80 years old can tell the world to go to hell. The same philosophy applies here ...

If you spent 25 years shooting for clients and have decided to retire, those people close to you should understand that you do not want to work again, it they don't too bad. A simple, "Sorry, I'm retired now." is all you need say.



Mar 25, 2014 at 11:28 AM
Nikon_14
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p.1 #13 · p.1 #13 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


blsphoto wrotehaven't come up with a way to do it that doesn't sound arrogant or selfish.


My experience is that quoting a rate where you are actually earning a profit for what people perceive to be "just pressing a button" is automatically going to come across as arrogant and selfish. No other way to avoid it... but I know that when my car needs repair, my mechanic isn't going to hesitate to be "arrogant and selfish".

At least this way you won't have any "entitlement" friends who demand everything for nothing.



Mar 27, 2014 at 01:55 PM
nolaguy
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p.1 #14 · p.1 #14 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


"Thank you but there's so much behind the scenes of photography that most people are completely unaware of. It's not just showing up and shooting. That's one reason I retired. I have a lot of commitments to myself and others and I am just not able to follow up like I should - and I don't deliver half-baked work. I made a pact with myself to politely say "thank you, but I can't." The only alternative was to say "Okay, but you may never see the photos. I doubt you want that."


Mar 29, 2014 at 10:52 PM
blitzn
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p.1 #15 · p.1 #15 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


I saw Joe Montana on a plane gracefully turn down all kinds of requests. He simply said, "I'm sorry but I'm not that Joe Montana any longer. I'm now enjoying a private life". People immediately respected his position.


Apr 04, 2014 at 01:09 AM
mmurph
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p.1 #16 · p.1 #16 · Retired - How to turn down friends?


What is true for me is that I can't do it physically any more due to chronic pain. I had to quit and close my studio in 2008 because of that.

If that is at all true for you, don't hesitate to say something like "I'm sorry, my arthritis/knees/etc. is so bad that I just can't do photography any more. That is why I had to retire."

That is pretty hard to argue with. I still do portraits for my son's music group and shoot about 3 performances for them per year. Even that is very, very difficult for me.

I get lots of requests to do senior pictures, etc. As others mentioned, you might have a friend who would love the referrals- at least for those things with reasonable compensation.

You might even arrange for a "courtesy" discount of 10% or similar. Then you are actually doing them a favor with the referral at the same time. Should make it a lot easier.

Good luck!

I'll be in Florida from November through May if you get bored... And in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on the shores od Lake Huron- about 5 miles from the Canadian border all summer.

Cheers.



Apr 13, 2014 at 07:40 PM





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