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Archive 2013 · Into The Darkness

  
 
beavens
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · Into The Darkness


Stuck between not caring about this shot and being totally fixated by it.

Was hoping some extra eyes can help out.

Comments/critique?

Thanks!

Jeff







Dec 04, 2013 at 10:50 PM
sbeme
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · Into The Darkness


Echoing Kent's useful refrain, "What is the point?" What are you trying to say with the composition.
To me, the composition is about decay, texture, order/disorder, seen and suggested.
From that perspective, BW is a good choice. There is an interesting array of texture and a bit of pop from the dark black through the panes. But the empty darkness takes up quite a bit of real estate and doesnt offer much by itself. I think it leaves the image a bit lacking, a bit of going nowhere.
Crop feels tight on the bottom. Exposed flashing above the window is a bit bright, distracting and could be toned down with highlight recovery or selective burning. Bright pieces...leaves?.. left edge distract a bit and could be toned down.
But overall, I think the image is missing too much to work for me. Perhaps a tighter, more selective crop for the texture against black thing. Or a hint of light inside suggesting the contents of the room through the window? If that is possible.

Scott



Dec 05, 2013 at 09:46 AM
beavens
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · Into The Darkness


Scott,

You're echoing a lot of thoughts I had myself. Even though the darkness takes up a good chunk (with its nothingness!), I felt drawn to it. Almost as if I was searching around the darkness for something to pop out.

I cropped tight on the bottom because the exposure really fell off under the sill. I can take another look at it and see if it is too distracting or if I can burn.

I believe the top of the window looks bright because it's sheet metal?

The bright pieces in the panes are most likely spiderwebs or debris in webs.

I definitely need to get rid of the stray leaf poking in on the left-hand side.

Thanks for the input!



Dec 05, 2013 at 10:30 AM
beavens
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · Into The Darkness


Tweaked it a little - any better or still can't stand on its own?








Dec 05, 2013 at 05:57 PM
RustyBug
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p.1 #5 · p.1 #5 · Into The Darkness


I think this one needs the "so, so, phone call" test ...

Pick up the phone and call your best friend. Start the conversation with "Man, you gotta see this. It is so , the is so ... "

At the moment, I'm a bit remiss to fill in the blanks very well, but if you know what message you would verbally tell your friend about things, then that can help to guide you how to present it. At the moment, I'm just not seeing anything that warrants me call my best friend to tell him about it (as if I'm still standing in front of it) ... i.e. no "Dude, you gotta come see this. It's so ..." or "Here's what I really want you to see."

Some interesting elements @ formal lines vs. decay, but the juxtaposition doesn't seem to carry it strongly enough for me to get it past "it's a picture of a window". Maybe if you had more specular light raking/showcasing the texture ... not sure, atm. I can see your uncertainty validated ... hmmm @ how to change that.



Dec 05, 2013 at 11:40 PM
beavens
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p.1 #6 · p.1 #6 · Into The Darkness


Thanks for the insight, Kent.

I suppose I was hoping for that the still very solid lines of the panes mixed with the decay and texture would keep the view around long enough to begin to peer into the room and strike curiosity as to what's actually in there.

Maybe more of a "would could be" than "what is"?

Perhaps I'm just trying to extract too much from a mediocre image.

Jeff



Dec 06, 2013 at 07:22 AM
RustyBug
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p.1 #7 · p.1 #7 · Into The Darkness


Okay, then if you are trying to strike a curiosity to peer in ... then I think you'll need to lift the shadows inside to provide a brighter ( @ how bright) tonal value for us to have something to peer in to see.

How bright that needs to become to draw us in, yet still invoke an vibe that requires an effort to look in will be one of nuance I suspect, but that's where I'd look to tie the "message" to the processing. As it is, the bright tones of the window frame seem to keep pulling us "out" rather than framing us to be drawn "in". We typically are drawn to the light more strongly than the dark ... making this one a bit challenging.

Standing there and experiencing it, our vision can accommodate for the dynamic range diff's, particularly if we are "peering" though the panes.






Edited on Dec 06, 2013 at 09:47 AM · View previous versions



Dec 06, 2013 at 09:30 AM
beavens
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p.1 #8 · p.1 #8 · Into The Darkness


It's a fine line between completely bringing up all the shadows and having it be too dark inside to see anything.

I'm guessing what you're saying is that in the most recent edit that the inside is still too dark to draw interest?

I'd like to keep SOME mystery there, but if it ain't workin, it ain't workin!

I'll play around with the shadows a bit more when I get home and see what I can come up with.

Cheers Kent.

Jeff



Dec 06, 2013 at 09:36 AM
RustyBug
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p.1 #9 · p.1 #9 · Into The Darkness


+1 @ fine line (which, imo is why they call if "fine" art) ... might look at pulling down the outside stuff so it isn't as bright. Some yin-yang @ push-pull rather than just a big push.

Edited on Dec 06, 2013 at 09:51 AM · View previous versions



Dec 06, 2013 at 09:49 AM
beavens
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p.1 #10 · p.1 #10 · Into The Darkness


Absolutely - will have to tone down the exterior for sure.

Thanks for the ideas and I'll post an update this evening!



Dec 06, 2013 at 09:50 AM
sbeme
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p.1 #11 · p.1 #11 · Into The Darkness


Bringing up the shadows, as Kent illustrated, adds much more interest. My own preference would be to leave the interior a bit darker ,a bit more hinted at.
Glad to see there is a significant amount of shadow recovery possible, enabling you to continue to fine tune the image.
Scott



Dec 06, 2013 at 10:27 AM
beavens
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p.1 #12 · p.1 #12 · Into The Darkness


sbeme wrote:
Bringing up the shadows, as Kent illustrated, adds much more interest. My own preference would be to leave the interior a bit darker ,a bit more hinted at.
Glad to see there is a significant amount of shadow recovery possible, enabling you to continue to fine tune the image.
Scott


I appreciate the opinion as well as the idea to add something to look at through the window!

Getting the perspective of others helps more than words can convey.

Jeff



Dec 06, 2013 at 10:33 AM
sbeme
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p.1 #13 · p.1 #13 · Into The Darkness


it's a good team process


Dec 06, 2013 at 10:55 AM
RustyBug
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p.1 #14 · p.1 #14 · Into The Darkness


sbeme wrote:
it's a good team process


Iterative and collaborative ...

+1 @ dialing in the darkness/lightness for the right "vibe" @ intrigue.



Dec 06, 2013 at 11:08 AM
beavens
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p.1 #15 · p.1 #15 · Into The Darkness


RustyBug wrote:
Iterative and collaborative ...


Without the feedback from everyone here I definitely think I'd leave of lot of image potential behind.

THANKS EVERYONE!



Dec 06, 2013 at 11:10 AM
RustyBug
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p.1 #16 · p.1 #16 · Into The Darkness


beavens wrote:
Without the feedback from everyone here I definitely think I'd leave of lot of image potential behind.

THANKS EVERYONE!


That goes for many of us ... which is what keeps us coming back @ "iron sharpens iron".



Dec 06, 2013 at 11:41 AM
quinnk
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p.1 #17 · p.1 #17 · Into The Darkness


I like the last one best. Would've been cool if there was an old chair or table inside. Overall the picture doesn't wow me.


Dec 09, 2013 at 12:56 AM





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