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Archive 2013 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding

  
 
Prettym1k3
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p.2 #1 · p.2 #1 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


My wedding, my brother and best man gets up and says:

"Fornication! For-an-occasion such as this..." and then launches into his speech, complete with a picture of me when I was 3 years old wearing my mom's lipstick and sitting on the bathroom counter.

Needless to say, our pastor has a great sense of humor and laughed. Our grandparents? Not so much.



Nov 05, 2013 at 02:47 PM
BostonGreg
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p.2 #2 · p.2 #2 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


@Prettym1k3 - I had a best man use this same line this year, really funny! The "last time you will have the upper hand" has gotten really old and annoying...I heard that one probably five times this season. I swear it's the first thing that pops up when the google "best man speech ideas"


Nov 08, 2013 at 12:51 AM
cre55107
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p.2 #3 · p.2 #3 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


During the reception I asked the for the rings to photograph, and when I asked the groom for his. He replied with "keep it"


Nov 08, 2013 at 04:11 AM
cineski
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p.2 #4 · p.2 #4 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


I had a drunk bride tell me she loved me as I was leaving the reception....right in front of her new husband. I'd like to think I played it cool but I didn't. My jaw dropped to the floor as I looked from her, to the husband, to the door and left.


Nov 08, 2013 at 08:58 AM
DmitriM
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p.2 #5 · p.2 #5 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


about 7 months ago I went to a wedding of some friends. The speech of the best man was a disaster.

He mentioned how they went to a strip club for 3 hours and how they all had private dances and the groom went in a private room with one of the girls for half an hour and how he won't be able to do it anymore after marriage. There was something mentioned about life being over after marriage.

It felt like I was watching one of those weird comedies. Nobody was laughing and people were a bit shocked. Bride was almost crying




Nov 08, 2013 at 11:51 AM
Chris Cooke
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p.2 #6 · p.2 #6 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


I wish I had video of it but a wedding I did in August had the greatest speech from the best man EVER!!! It was pretty much a wedding version of "The most interesting guy in the world" It was SO entertaining.


Nov 08, 2013 at 12:32 PM
RichardLavigne
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p.2 #7 · p.2 #7 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


I can't remember the toast now, but we had a maid of honor rap her toast. The bride had given her a list of topics and stories to not "speak" about.... just embarrassing sister stories. The Maid of honor gets up and says, "Amanda gave me a list of things I wasn't allowed to speak about.... but she didn't say I couldn't rap about them." at that point, the DJ hits the "fresh prince of bel-air" theme song music and she raps... it was hilarious and heart-warming.... and the sister did not care that she had mentioned a bunch of the off-limit topics.


Nov 08, 2013 at 01:13 PM
Scott Mosher
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p.2 #8 · p.2 #8 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


Another one I just thought of since Richard mentioned his.

Best man gets up for his toast. "The groom gave me a list of topics that I was not allowed to talk about. (Pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket). So let me read the list off to you."

Before he reads it he asks if there were any officers from Internal Affairs there (Groom was a cop). He then jokingly asked them to leave before he read his toast.



Nov 08, 2013 at 01:48 PM
julieawhitlock
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p.2 #9 · p.2 #9 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


I had a "happy" bride once tell me that since she had paid for my hotel room she demanded that my husband ( my assistant) and I do some " raunchy nasty". Um. Ok. Thanks?!


Nov 08, 2013 at 06:32 PM
D. Diggler
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p.2 #10 · p.2 #10 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


julieawhitlock wrote:
I had a "happy" bride once tell me that since she had paid for my hotel room


I remember back to a time not that long ago - before the economy went bad - when I used to be able to get a hotel stay out of a couple. Made me feel special to be staying in these nice places.



Nov 09, 2013 at 02:52 AM
sealsphoto
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p.2 #11 · p.2 #11 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


I had a wedding several years ago where all of the wedding party were friends from their theater days in college. Everyone in the wedding party (8 people) got up to give a toast. Took an hour and 15 minutes. I later discovered they were covering for the caterer because the food was arriving late.


Nov 09, 2013 at 08:21 AM
D. Diggler
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p.2 #12 · p.2 #12 · Funniest things you've heard said at a wedding


sealsphoto wrote:
Everyone in the wedding party (8 people) got up to give a toast. Took an hour and 15 minutes. I later discovered they were covering for the caterer because the food was arriving late.


Most of mine go the opposite: Long speeches before and during dinner holding up either the serving of the meal or the eating of the meal. When the toaster stands up to give their speech and they pull out a couple of 8 1/2 x 11 pages to read from, you know it's gonna be bad.

I really think dinner-time toasts should be brief. Like one to two minutes. Who's with me?



Nov 09, 2013 at 08:30 AM
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