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The mistake is trying to find a single bag to do everything. I use a roller case to transport gear to the various locatioins on the day of the wedding and transfer what I need for each segment into a camera bag. For the getting ready and wedding ceremony I use a LowePro Pro Mag II bag that holds the 70-200mm upgright though not mounted to the camera. For the getting ready I have in the bag two bodies, a 14-24mm, 24-70mm zooms, and for the bride portrait pictures a 105mm f2 DC lens.
For the ceremony I use a LowePro Sideline Shooter waist bag that is large enough to hold either the 70-200mm or three smaller lenses. I will have the 24-70mm on one body and the 70-200mm on the other camera. The 14-24mm is in the bag and used for the "location" shots which comprise less than 5% of the ceremony pictuers
I use the same bag at the reception and the nice thing about the Sideline Shooter bag is that it is very compact and sticks out about 5" so I can sqeeze between tables or people on the dance floor without a bag getting in the way.
If there is a secure location in the DJ area I wil stash the roller case there with extra lenses, third body as a backup, and extra flash and batteries. If not, the case stays in the trunk of my car where it is out of sight and somewhat protected by the car alarm.
With an outdoor venue where the roller case is awkward to use I will stil have it in the trunk of the car but take a larger LowePro AW400 bag that holds a little more gear than the Pro Mag II bag. I learned after a while that more gear can work against the photographer as there is more to haul around, more to have to watch, and one quickly reaches a point of diminishing returns. For example a 77mm closeup lens screwed onto the 24-70mm lens does an excellent job in place of a dedicated macro lens. The closeup lens takes up no more space than a filter and so it stays in the bag.
I do have a Pelican 1620 case that holds the lighting equipment I use for the post wedding formals. It too stays in the trunk except for the start of the wedding ceremony where my assistant has it at the back of the area and brings it into place after the ceremony. Setup time with the Quantum Qflash, special tripod, Custom Brackets flash bracket, and transceivers is less than 15 minutes so it does not hold up the schedule.
It helped a great deal when I could use my cameras at ISO 3200 as I could dispense with my primes and use only three f2.8 zoom lenses the entire day.