Upload & Sell: Off
That certainly is a bad situation. Upfront communicate, even spelling it out in email helps. I make each client initial every page of my contract and I do discuss me being the primary and only professional photographer allowed. I am seeing a lot more of this stuff going on. Everyone with a digital camera thinks they can be a wedding photographer. I have also seen videographers start using DSLR's with video capability sell photographs off that video. They even claim it is hi-resolution, which it is not....only HD video quality.
I might of shot the wedding as well, however it does concern me that you only had 10 minutes for formals and did not shoot everything that normally gets done. (BTW, I would of gone first with the formals....going back to primary photographer). I hope you had the Groom sign off on your formals and lack of time. Because they could sue in the end, especially if the videographer/photographer does a lousy job with the photographs. It is very important to uphold your own contract, so that is why I said, I might of. By attending, you knowingly validated your own contract.
I always have my copyright in the EXIF, but I stopped fighting the social media on posting. I used to require permission, but I found it impossible to police. Now, I allow posting images on social media (even encourage it...free advertising), but insist they give me credit and preferable a link back to my website and/or facebook page. Couples like that.
I never give rights away for them to hand out to 3rd parties and would never agree to handing them over to the videographer to edit and use. That is crazy. I certainly would reinforce your restrictions for use when you had it over to the couple (have them sign a copyright user release form) and perhaps even send a letter or email to the videographer that he does not have the right to use your images, even if the couple try to share them with him.
As pointed out by someone else, on this wedding I would go the extra mile and register them with the copyright office. Contracts can only be upheld in court when you uphold them.
So, even though you got through the wedding, it ain't over yet.