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Archive 2013 · is this bio/about me ok?
  
 
SeanP
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · is this bio/about me ok?


thanks to anyone who offered critique on the site. now I'm looking for feedback on this 'about me' I just whipped up-- just content, don't worry about any grammar. I want it to be light and not overly sentimental but still professional. i fear the first line may be too over-the-top. or if it's just not funny that's also valid critique. please be honest. thanks immensely in advance

"If a picture is worth a thousand words, I want the picture I take of you to say "HOTTIE HOTTIE HOTTIE HOTTIE" over and over again, one-thousand times.
I'm a native New England photographer, currently living in Nashua, NH. I grew up in NH, too, and studied photography at Hallmark Institute of Photography in Turners Falls, MA. When I photograph a wedding I look for great light, emotion, and unexpected moments-- I want your photographs to be natural and to tell a story that you can relive whenever you look back at them.
I consider it a tremendous honor to be responsible for documenting what to many people will be the most important day in their life and, undoubtedly, the largest party they will ever throw. There's alot of pressure, but I'm confident being that guy.
I'm available for a limited number of weddings a year and will travel just about anywhere. Please contact me if you have any questions. "

well?



Mar 01, 2013 at 06:06 PM
TRReichman
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · is this bio/about me ok?


"When I photograph a wedding I look for great light, emotion, and unexpected moments-- I want your photographs to be natural and to tell a story that you can relive whenever you look back at them.
I consider it a tremendous honor to be responsible for documenting what to many people will be the most important day in their life and, undoubtedly, the largest party they will ever throw. There's alot of pressure, but I'm confident being that guy.
I'm available for a limited number of weddings a year and will travel just about anywhere. Please contact me if you have any questions. "

This is pretty much boilerplate for "about me" pages. I'd cut it and get more specific.

- trr



Mar 01, 2013 at 06:07 PM
lindabrowne
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · is this bio/about me ok?


I, I, I.

Although it's 'about me' it should relate to your ideal clients instead of being all about you. The HOTTIE HOTTIE part had me expecting something else from your images. I like your work. The photographer who's taking shots of hotties seems like a different guy (and yes, I've seen those photos and would recommend you over them any day ).

Likes



Mar 01, 2013 at 11:52 PM
swoop
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · is this bio/about me ok?


"I'm a New Hampshire native currently living in Nashua. I studied photography at the Hallmark Institute of Photography. When photographing a wedding I look for great light, emotion, and natural moments. My photographs tell a story you can relive long after your wedding day.
I value the responsibility of documenting what will be the most important day in your life and, undoubtedly, the largest party you will ever throw.
I'm available for a limited number of weddings a year and able to travel. Please contact me if you have any questions."



Mar 02, 2013 at 12:19 AM
 

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Ian Ivey
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p.1 #5 · p.1 #5 · is this bio/about me ok?


I consider it a tremendous honor to be responsible for documenting what to many people will be the most important day in their life and, undoubtedly, the largest party they will ever throw.

Hey, Sean,

I think this quoted phrase is the second-most-often-stated concept of all time on wedding photographers' about-me page (the most common is some crap about photography being someone's passion, and you've earned my thanks for not writing that). I'm afraid this part does nothing to distinguish you or interest the reader.

I think the reason you say it is to get to the last part, about you being confident and capable under pressure. That's not an unreasonable claim to make, but I'd try to find a different route to get there.

Your opening "HOTTIE" line is definitely distinct, but you'd better be sure you understand the impression that phrasing creates. I haven't looked at your work, but I certainly have a specific set of expectations after reading that. If you fail to deliver on the expectation you set, as a prospective client I'm not looking past the first three or four photos.



Mar 02, 2013 at 03:58 AM
TheGE
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p.1 #6 · p.1 #6 · is this bio/about me ok?


There's two challenges in an About Me page, the way I see it. One is, there's an almost limited range confined to speaking of wedding photography, so the challenge there is coming up with a different way of saying it; kind of like getting a photo of a bride coming down the aisle but making it unique. "Tell a story that you can relive whenever you look back at them" is probably something all your competition says. How do you say that differently?

The second, very important, is to tap into your preferred client's mind and speak to her thinking. So mentioning great light means nothing to a bride unless she's knowledgeable about photography, understands what you mean and agrees with you. I'd stay away from any tech talk as a rule. Anything your reader finds boring or not relevant will cause them to lose interest.

Your opening is not great but ok though it's cliche ("If a picture is worth a thousand words") but you don't follow through on that thought, going into a kind of crass "HOTTIE" rant instead. How does that build on "if a picture is worth a thousand words"? It doesn't. Or at least you haven't shown the connection. Then you flip to talking about yourself giving some mild facts but nothing that grabs attention, and ends with a weak call to action. You're all over the place.

I'd scrap it all and start over. First of all, it's not congruent with what you're showing on your site. If you're all about making the bride look hot, I'd expect to see stunning "wow" type fashion shots of amazing looking brides all over your site. But I don't. I see more the natural, casual, average, down home, unpretentious bride on your site. That's what your portfolio says to me.

Write to her.

Sit down to write and turn off all distractions. You can't have any incoming stimuli when you do this because incoming blocks your thoughts from flowing from you. And write. Write to that bride. How does she feel about her photos? Put yourself into her place. Into her mind. How does she view the world? How does she feel? Write to that. Keep writing, let it flow, dig down to the core. Don't stop when you think you have it. Then come back to your notes a day later. You'll find you have nuggets in there.



Mar 02, 2013 at 03:20 PM
nolaguy
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p.1 #7 · p.1 #7 · is this bio/about me ok?


Emphasis mine...

TheGE wrote:
There's two challenges in an About Me page, the way I see it. One is, there's an almost limited range confined to speaking of wedding photography, so the challenge there is coming up with a different way of saying it; kind of like getting a photo of a bride coming down the aisle but making it unique. "Tell a story that you can relive whenever you look back at them" is probably something all your competition says. How do you say that differently?

The second, very important, is to tap into your preferred client's mind and speak to her thinking. So
...Show more


This is an extraordinary piece of advice. Marketing 101 thru post-graduate level education.

Nice job, GE. This is one of the top comments I've ever read on FM. Very generous of you.

Chuck



Mar 03, 2013 at 05:53 AM





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