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I would prefer a more silhouette type shot with their heads up straight instead of turned to the side. This may prevent a true "kiss" but would make for a better looking shot, IMO. Also, the light seems to be a little intense behind their heads in this picture. I would have zoomed the flash out more for a greater spread and less intensity.
These issues would mean less had the subjects taken up less of the frame. If this was a full body shot (or smaller) this identical setup would have worked better. As is, when you're zoomed that close on the faces of your subject, everything needs to be spot-on for it to really "work".