truehuss
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 p.1 #14 · So a potential Brides Father called me and .......Advice Please | |
Ian Ivey wrote:
Dad had a bad experience with another photographer, and that heightened his sensitivity to a particular risk, namely that a vendor might take the money and not deliver. This is a sensible concern, not the sign of an unreasonable person. We hear stories about this happening every year, sometimes from people who come to this forum to ask for advice about how to make their own photographers deliver.
It's worth noting that you have the same stance this dad has. You are sensitive to a particular risk, namely that the client may make collection difficult after the job is done if you don't collect the full fee before-hand. That, too, is a sensible concern, not unreasonable, and well established here and elsewhere as a real risk.
You're the vendor. He's the customer. So it is your burden, not his, to earn trust. He gives his money to the vendor who earns his trust.
You may not have to earn trust by compromising your policies. It may just take some extra work in conversation, by proving that you understand his concerns, or perhaps by giving him other clients to talk to. Perhaps a small compromise is in order, if only a token.
Unless you've left something crucial out of the description, I don't see this as a power struggle or a big red flag. It's just a guy who's been burned and wants to avoid getting burned again.
And instead of giving him evidence he can trust you, you've basically just argued with him and then told his kid you couldn't navigate past his concerns.
I agree with you wholeheartedly but one thing you werent privy to was the conversation. It had a bad tone--not on my part-- from the beginning. I was not being argumentative but I did feel on the defensive from the start. I actually like your idea of giving him past clients as references. I didnt think of that & that wouldve definitely been an avenue I should have gone. That being said, Trust me when I say that without ever having met me, he was judging and locked into what happend to him & what he wanted to happen. Period. It wasnt a conversation of "how can we come to an agreement" .. it was " This happened to me & I want this and thats that.."
So no, I dont think I argued with him & told his kid I couldnt navigate past his concerns. I tried to address his concerns the best way I could and when I didnt agree with him it was all over for compromise.
just sayin.
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. I feel relieved because as Ian and TRR stated, and I understood, it is a reasonable request but at the same time its just not how it works. I'm glad they understand that.