Upload & Sell: On
Couple of questions and observations, and I won't repeat what's already been said...
First, you say that a second catchlight was removed from her eyes. What's the source of that catchlight? Also, there's an obvious difference in color and exposure on her neck; is that from the second light source?
The remaining catchlight and nose shadow reveal an off-camera flash held to the left at nose height. Holding this light higher, creating a loop shadow below her nose would be a more flattering light. Get the catchlight up to around 10:00 in the eye and you'll see an improvement. The shadow also appears to be pretty stark; did you use any kind of diffuser or was that a bare flash?
Finally, it's a very bright exposure, probably where it "ought to be" in the histogram, but I think if you had dialed down the flash (I'm guessing you used TTL with no flash exposure compensation), I think you might have gotten a more nuanced result.
I'm glad she liked it. She's a pretty subject with a great expression.
Hope this helps.