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 p.4 #6 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans | |
Hasselbling Lunar: The Candid Interview
So what's this all about?
- Sh*t! Don't you know?! It's all about finding some good, well priced product, covering it with the most abhorrent bling and trying to shift it to Dubaiistas, footballers' wives and the like for a 500% profit. After all, we don't make much stuff any more, so it makes perfect sense that we buy off the shelf, bling it up, or mod it, as they say in the gangsta car business, and try to dispose of it for as much as we can possibly get. It's a bit like stencilling the words TWIN TURBO and putting a huge spoiler on the back of a Ford Fiesta, and selling for x times the price: the poor souls who buy into this crap are gullible and delusional and have the big deep pockets; they actually think they're buying a lot more than a Fiesta! What is a perfectly normal utilitarian set of wheels, BTW...
But you still make some good stuff, like the classic 6x6 bodies, such as the 500s and 503s; plus you have that historic partnership with Zeiss...
- Yeah, you know, we're not selling that many of those at the mo, plus our part plastic system is made by Fuji and the sensors are Kodak legacy, and there's only so much profit you can make out of the Fujiblad, so it's a much better thought to try to dress the cheap utilitarian Sonys in all kinds of weird looking bling like ruby looking buttons, fake panda fur and gold plated sh*te and trying to shift those for a massive profit. You don't understand how things work do you? Look, neo-liberalism, the financial money grab and whatnot are driving the bloody global economy into a particular type of recession where everyone except those at the very top is being shafted and squeezed. Soon there'll be no money anywhere to buy cameras! So what do you do? You aim for the luxury market! Since, generally speaking, wealth is being lifted up, it's more likely that we'll find a good, thriving market in Dubai and all the offshore fiscal paradises than by trying to sell a NEX 7 with a Blad logo for 20% more. Plus we wouldn't make that much of a profit, would we? And remember, we don't make much in-house any more, and high-MP-count DLSRs like the D800 will squeeze us a the bottom, and Phase One is quite a bit more serious than us, and our other stuff is made by Fuji, and...
OK, got it. But how about investing in some RD, weathering the storm, getting back on your feet and releasing a product like the Leica M, which is serious and actually a bit cheaper and a better value than its predecessor; and one that actually caters for all the legacy R stuff?
- Man, you don't get it do you?! We're actually trying to join that exclusive club ourselves and enjoy the sun in some hot and sandy paradise, we'll call it Hasselbing Island and our 'serious' and 'sober' interpretations of Sony products will make sure we get there! We're tired of damp, dark Sweden, we want to live in paradise! Plus Leica is turning serious, with a product that's of the age and is actually on the verge of almost becoming good value for what it is - who do you think is gonna replace Leica once they've stopped making stuff that's blingy and obnoxiously overpriced? We've similar ambitious plans for the RX100 and we'll even release a reheated A99 that'll be covered in fake Dodo feather filaments...
Thank you Doctor Hasselbling. That'll be all for today. Back to you Fiona.
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I merely draw from that BJP interview of Hasselblad.
