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Archive 2012 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans
  
 
pingflood
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p.4 #1 · p.4 #1 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


The Lunar: Made for Martians, inspired by Uranus.


Sep 21, 2012 at 06:16 AM
carstenw
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p.4 #2 · p.4 #2 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Hasselblad Lunar - We don't get it either


Sep 21, 2012 at 06:28 AM
rico
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p.4 #3 · p.4 #3 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


You can't make this stuff up. I merely draw from that BJP interview of Hasselblad.

Hasselblad Lunar - It's a hard one
Hasselblad Lunar - The right materials and the right processes
Hasselblad Lunar - This is not a NEX-7 camera
Hasselblad Lunar - The best materials for our cameras
Hasselblad Lunar - Not robbing people by making a huge profit



Sep 21, 2012 at 07:54 AM
twoeye
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p.4 #4 · p.4 #4 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Hasselblad Lunar: Same shit, new wrapping!


Sep 21, 2012 at 08:08 AM
Yakim Peled
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p.4 #5 · p.4 #5 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


pingflood wrote:
The Lunar: Made for Martians, inspired by Uranus.


Indeed.

Happy shooting,
Yakim.



Sep 21, 2012 at 08:11 AM
ayler
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p.4 #6 · p.4 #6 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Hasselbling Lunar: The Candid Interview

So what's this all about?

- Sh*t! Don't you know?! It's all about finding some good, well priced product, covering it with the most abhorrent bling and trying to shift it to Dubaiistas, footballers' wives and the like for a 500% profit. After all, we don't make much stuff any more, so it makes perfect sense that we buy off the shelf, bling it up, or mod it, as they say in the gangsta car business, and try to dispose of it for as much as we can possibly get. It's a bit like stencilling the words TWIN TURBO and putting a huge spoiler on the back of a Ford Fiesta, and selling for x times the price: the poor souls who buy into this crap are gullible and delusional and have the big deep pockets; they actually think they're buying a lot more than a Fiesta! What is a perfectly normal utilitarian set of wheels, BTW...

But you still make some good stuff, like the classic 6x6 bodies, such as the 500s and 503s; plus you have that historic partnership with Zeiss...

- Yeah, you know, we're not selling that many of those at the mo, plus our part plastic system is made by Fuji and the sensors are Kodak legacy, and there's only so much profit you can make out of the Fujiblad, so it's a much better thought to try to dress the cheap utilitarian Sonys in all kinds of weird looking bling like ruby looking buttons, fake panda fur and gold plated sh*te and trying to shift those for a massive profit. You don't understand how things work do you? Look, neo-liberalism, the financial money grab and whatnot are driving the bloody global economy into a particular type of recession where everyone except those at the very top is being shafted and squeezed. Soon there'll be no money anywhere to buy cameras! So what do you do? You aim for the luxury market! Since, generally speaking, wealth is being lifted up, it's more likely that we'll find a good, thriving market in Dubai and all the offshore fiscal paradises than by trying to sell a NEX 7 with a Blad logo for 20% more. Plus we wouldn't make that much of a profit, would we? And remember, we don't make much in-house any more, and high-MP-count DLSRs like the D800 will squeeze us a the bottom, and Phase One is quite a bit more serious than us, and our other stuff is made by Fuji, and...

OK, got it. But how about investing in some RD, weathering the storm, getting back on your feet and releasing a product like the Leica M, which is serious and actually a bit cheaper and a better value than its predecessor; and one that actually caters for all the legacy R stuff?

- Man, you don't get it do you?! We're actually trying to join that exclusive club ourselves and enjoy the sun in some hot and sandy paradise, we'll call it Hasselbing Island and our 'serious' and 'sober' interpretations of Sony products will make sure we get there! We're tired of damp, dark Sweden, we want to live in paradise! Plus Leica is turning serious, with a product that's of the age and is actually on the verge of almost becoming good value for what it is - who do you think is gonna replace Leica once they've stopped making stuff that's blingy and obnoxiously overpriced? We've similar ambitious plans for the RX100 and we'll even release a reheated A99 that'll be covered in fake Dodo feather filaments...

Thank you Doctor Hasselbling. That'll be all for today. Back to you Fiona.



Sep 21, 2012 at 11:12 AM
OneAnt
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p.4 #7 · p.4 #7 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Hasselblad Internal STAFF NOTICE:

Drug testing will resume Monday
Includes that big blue bunny in reception




Sep 21, 2012 at 11:30 AM
pingflood
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p.4 #8 · p.4 #8 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


"Onassis had a yacht with bar stools upholstered in whale foreskins, and WE are the ridiculous ones?"

The Lunar: At least we didn't circumcise whales to make it.



Sep 21, 2012 at 11:46 AM
kosmoskatten
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p.4 #9 · p.4 #9 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Hasselblad Lunar
- an Orbitrary design
- first we concquered the Moon - now we are aiming for Uranus

Bundled accessories:
Sony Crater BD - a Hollow One Dimensional Experience of the work behind the Lunar. Bound to make an Impact. Playing time 45 sec.

Hasselblad NanoProbe - a blunt poking device, covered by a thin layer of unobtainium. Very small. As a Dark Matter of fact so small you cannot see it unless you purchase a time slot in the ring, the underground facility in Europe, aka CERN. Comes bundled with two or three Higgins particles as a token of our appreciation of your investment in our System.


Available Online:
Hasselblad Black Hole Virtual experience: a proud company, swallowed by the shady market. Once you go black, you can never go back. See what ever happened with the Legacy, the R&D and the funding.

Future Product Road Map:

Hasselblad PurrSuit - you call it a Hello Kitty clone, we call it a creative invention.

Hasselblad Space - you call it an empty box. We call it a filling opportunity.

Hasselblad Launch Box- we are not sure where we are going with this one, but we'll price it accordingly.

Don't forget to sign up for HassleCare, a truly universal carefree warranty extension available to the first 4400 customers only. Your warranty will be extended into the afterlife.

Seriously though; I am looking forward to the company scrapping the whole idea and launching the Apollogizer program instead. I just heard a distinct "clonk" in the background. My Hasselblad SWC/M just keeled over on the shelf in disgust.



Sep 21, 2012 at 01:18 PM
OneAnt
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p.4 #10 · p.4 #10 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


^ hehehe ...bad kitty.


Sep 21, 2012 at 01:24 PM
 

Search in Used Dept. 



pingflood
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p.4 #11 · p.4 #11 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


kosmoskatten wrote:
Available Online:
Hasselblad Black Hole Virtual experience: a proud company, swallowed by the shady market. Once you go black, you can never go back. See what ever happened with the Legacy, the R&D and the funding.


The online content can only be accessed by using the $199 HasselBrowser, which is a reimagination of the Internet experience jointly developed with Mozilla (please do not look at the "About" box).

Please note that this is not simply a reskinned Firefox; all the RGB colors have been carefully handpicked by our finest designers to truly enhance the product and lift it to a level above the competition.



Sep 21, 2012 at 01:42 PM
Jacob D
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p.4 #12 · p.4 #12 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


pingflood wrote:
"Onassis had a yacht with bar stools upholstered in whale foreskins, and WE are the ridiculous ones?"

The Lunar: At least we didn't circumcise whales to make it.

Somehow this sounded like something that must be real, upon googling it my suspicions were confirmed.

Well at least I can thank Hassy leading me to the knowledge of whale-penis leathers.



Sep 21, 2012 at 01:47 PM
EOS20
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p.4 #13 · p.4 #13 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Jacob D wrote:
Funniest shit ever.

These will for sure be selling in Skymall.













Sep 21, 2012 at 03:57 PM
Jacob D
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p.4 #14 · p.4 #14 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans





Sep 21, 2012 at 04:22 PM
LightShow
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p.4 #15 · p.4 #15 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


" A $4000 anti-theft skin for your NEX-7"

"Introducing the NEX-7 Lady GaGa Edition"

"Blinged till you puke"

"Many styless versions to choose from"

"Offending good taste since 2012"



Sep 21, 2012 at 07:14 PM
freaklikeme
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p.4 #16 · p.4 #16 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Hasselblad Lunar... we know you really wanted a digital X-pan, so we're giving you Sony's auto-panoramic feature. Same-same.

... Sony may make a better camera than we can hope to, but please don't call us out on our desperate bid for attention.

... because we believe our long history in the industry should be enough to keep you from laughing at us.



Sep 21, 2012 at 07:45 PM
pingflood
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p.4 #17 · p.4 #17 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


OK, since the SD1 was mentioned, I just have to ask: what happened to the "QS" button on the wood burl edition?
http://www.letsgodigital.org/en/30840/sigma-sd1/



Sep 21, 2012 at 07:47 PM
hauxon
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p.4 #18 · p.4 #18 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


Good thing were helping Hasselblad out!


Sep 21, 2012 at 07:47 PM
kosmoskatten
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p.4 #19 · p.4 #19 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans


I wonder if Hasselblad realized that the Lunar would be one of the most laughed at and ridiculed cameras - EVER - prior to launch.

People make fun of the pimped up Leica editions (and some of them were enough to upset your stomach for more than one reason) but this is beyond tacky. Furthermore, it is a stupid deviation from being known as one of the premier brands in the industry for discerning photographers to being a sell out.

A Hasselblad digital Xpan would have had a cult following, but this? An occult following perhaps.




Sep 21, 2012 at 08:08 PM
EOS20
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p.4 #20 · p.4 #20 · Hasselblad Lunar - Slogans














Sep 21, 2012 at 08:25 PM
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