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| p.1 #15 · Etiquette for Photographers in the Wedding Party (when you're not hired) |
Long time lurker here - had to register to post to this topic. While we no longer are officially in business, we still do some charitable shoots and still have most of our gear. My daughter recently got married, and as the father of the bride, I was to walk her down the aisle, of course. My wife and I also offered to shoot the wedding for them as our present.
Not sure we'll do that again.
I was in my "photographer mode" more than "Daddy mode" and didn't really get to enjoy the day because I was "on". The video (by someone else) was very moving and meaningful when I viewed it, because I hadn't really viewed the wedding as a Dad, but through the viewfinder.
I believe we got some good stuff of the day for them, but missed some things because I was out from behind the camera during the processional and father/daughter dance, and some outdoor work because of the awful heat.
When we work up the images to create the album, I think we can deliver a stunning product to my girl, but would I do that again?
Probably not - I'll either be in the wedding party, or shoot their wedding as a gift, but not both.
And it's been suggested here to just be in the wedding and keep your mouth shut toward a hired gun. I second that, unless you're sure you can contribute positively such as Johnny B Goode described.
In my case, the groom was an ex wedding photog - before hand that was a bit intimidating, but during the wedding he was very good to work with and never ever crossed the line to telling us what to do.
Interesting experience - a first, and probably last.