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Archive 2012 · Inspired by zalmyb...E-session at a park
  
 
mirrorrim
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p.1 #1 · p.1 #1 · Inspired by zalmyb...E-session at a park


Perhaps I'll get some critique here. I put this up on a different forum and got 1 comment with no critique. Or, as zalmyb said, my work is solid but mediocre so no one feels like commenting. If it is, I'd like to know how to improve!

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Jul 06, 2012 at 07:40 PM
LivLif
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p.1 #2 · p.1 #2 · Inspired by zalmyb...E-session at a park


To me the set looks very plain. I literally scrolled right through them. Nothing really caught my eye. I think you should try to venture out of your comfort zone (something I am working on myself). They all look too safe. Seems like every shot has them kissing. Looks like a cool location and I think you could of pushed your creativity a lot more. Hope this helps.


Jul 06, 2012 at 07:49 PM
lisy78
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p.1 #3 · p.1 #3 · Inspired by zalmyb...E-session at a park


ok don't have time to do the here's what I like Here's what I dislike... so I'll try to just keep it to what *I* would fin useful. Then if you think I'm a dick you wouldn't be alone so ....

1. it's a bit of a postcard shot with them somehwat lost in it. yeah to a degree you have leading lines sort of but as the other poster said they're kind of safe. alternate idea... them sitting on the ground in front of the base of the tree ... they're centered on the bottom pretty close to the lower edge of the image which then crops in to the point that all we see is the octagon above them... the leading lines pointing at them and that's it.

2,3 these are fine

3. they are totally lost here... dunno what options you had but if you could shot this with a wide open tele and cause the leaves in teh FG and go into ablur, and the yellows int eh bg to do the same... that might be stronger... maybe keeping some for the roof in the shot

4. supersafe, grandma shot... not that I don't get those

5. you dropped the ball on the interaction with the pooch... this is no different than shooting two adults standing up next to a 2.5 year old standing up..... had you put them in the grass and told them to play with the dog while you sorted out something iwth the your lenses you could have captured some natural win shots.

6. if it's about that, then MAKE IT ABOUT THAT. Go the heck in and make it all about her reation ... the light on her is pretty good and a longer lens would have probably yielded something you'd be much happier with

7. I dig this. It's nothing sensational but it *looks* genuine. Don't spoil it for me by telling me that it's not. This is much better than 6 because you're gettin a cool reaction AND can see both of them and they're not all "let me eat your mouth" ... keep in mind that some clients (my wife for instance) owuld NOT go for a photo where I'm eating her mouth on our walls... unless it was ridiculoulsy epic maybe

8. meh on the first one and missed focus on the second. Yeah I get it... you were trying to get focus on the ring... then if that's the case put a macro on, or a toob and GET THE HECK IN THERE.

Hope this helps.



Jul 06, 2012 at 08:05 PM
zalmyb
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p.1 #4 · p.1 #4 · Inspired by zalmyb...E-session at a park


Solid but mediocre

Alessandro's critique was pretty spot on.

A few suggestions (disclaimer: I have no clue what I'm talking about)
A. Try to see everything (besides for the couple, maybe) as lines and shapes, and make those lines and shapes part of the story if possible. There is so much you could have done with that first photo (I.e the tree the house, the lines etc.)
B. in #2 I'd have the dudes head a bit higher with her leaning down on him, like he's the strong one (the "man") and she's leaning on him.
C. Work it! Don't move on from one location or idea until you've really checked out all the possibilities (you could have done a whiole session without moving from that first location...)

Hope that helped.



Jul 12, 2012 at 01:17 AM





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