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	Username   Password FM Forum Rules What are the criteria? FM Forums | Photo Critique | Join Upload & Sell    end    Archive 2012 · what could be better with this?

avyaktha1 Offline • Upload & Sell: Off p.1 #1 · what could be better with this? Feb 20, 2012 at 03:42 PM

Bob Jarman Offline • • • • Upload & Sell: On p.1 #2 · what could be better with this? quick glance - I'd like to see more of her face/expression; the horizon is not level. Regards, Bob Feb 20, 2012 at 04:13 PM

sbeme Offline • • • • • • Upload & Sell: On p.1 #3 · what could be better with this? I agree. But there is so much that is right to my eye. Great color. Great exposure, detail, choice on DOF. I like the framing. Kinda wish she didnt have that item in her hand. Seems a bit relaxed and wistful. Scott Feb 20, 2012 at 07:05 PM

cgardner Offline • • • • • Upload & Sell: Off p.1 #4 · what could be better with this? A shot like that with a person off to the side of the frame works well as an "establishing" shot to show context and set up a series of tighter shots without a lot of background distractions. I'll usually compose them with the subject closer to the left edge avoiding a large gap between subject and edge of the frame. The instinctive reaction of most viewers of a shot like this would be to find the face then follow the direction the person is looking to see what they find so interesting. Here she happens to be looking at the breaking wave in the background which is one of the more interesting features besides her in the shot. I cropped to put it about 1/3 of the way in from the right... Below to make that wave an even more compelling secondary focal point I tweeked the tonality making the wave lighter in tone and the surroundings darker so the wave crest is the brightest highlight in the photo. While the pose, as is, will work fine if the target audience already knows her, for a photo presented to strangers it would be more interesting if her face was seen profile or obliquely to create a more meaningful connection with her when looking at the photo. In a candid situation like that you need to more around the subject to get the more flattering facial angles or coach the subject to look at a particular spot in the background where something interesting is occurring. Feb 20, 2012 at 10:09 PM

Jo Dilbeck Offline • • • • Upload & Sell: On p.1 #5 · what could be better with this? Chuck as usual has a lot of good advice, however, I tend to disagree with the placement of the young lady in his rework. Personally, I think your placement is just fine, it looks more natural that way. You could crop just a bit less on the left than Chuck did and be fine IMHO. Nice colors, exposures, but I agree with Scott, the bag in the hand has to go! Jo Feb 22, 2012 at 12:02 AM

sbeme Offline • • • • • • Upload & Sell: On p.1 #6 · what could be better with this? As Jo said, and to differ with Chuck despite his excellent rationale, the woman at the far edge of the frame feels cramped and up against a wall. The brightening of the breaking wave as a focal point works well for me. Wish I had thought of that. Scott Feb 22, 2012 at 01:24 AM

cgardner Offline • • • • • Upload & Sell: Off p.1 #7 · what could be better with this? The reason I cropped so tight behind the woman was because I didn't want the viewer to look past her on the left. But it doesn't work in part because there is nothing really interesting at the focal point she is staring at to balance her. That's the real problem with the shot — there isn't anything interesting at the spot she's looking at... If for example there was someone riding the wave to hold the viewer's interest on that spot it would balance the far left placement of the woman, whose role compositionally is to frame the action at the focal point. That only works when there's interesting action at the focal point Feb 22, 2012 at 10:09 PM

avyaktha1 Offline • Upload & Sell: Off p.1 #8 · what could be better with this? Wow! great comments, i noticed the stupid horizon issue just right after posting it. This was an "establishing" shot I have more of her (my wife) as someone told me only one per thread didnt post others here. Thanks a ton guys, suresh Feb 24, 2012 at 08:59 PM

cgardner Offline • • • • • Upload & Sell: Off p.1 #9 · what could be better with this? There's no problem posting more than one photo per thread, the restriction on the forum is creating one new thread per day... I find it much easier to critique when a sequence of shots is presented, especially for portraits where a minor shift in camera angle and make a big difference in the appearance of the face, such as here where waiting for her to look more to the right or moving your camera position to the right would have resulted in a more flattering and interesting (for us who don't know her) profile or oblique view of the face we could better connect to. Something I encourage people to do is to think and shoot "cinematically" in the way viewers are pulled closer to action creating stronger emotional reactions vs the sequence of wide, medium, close-up and "cutaway" (seen from the POV of the subject in the other views) shots. Again my edit was based on being an establishing shot, but alone it its not telling an interesting story. So please do go ahead and post a few of the other shots you took before /after that one to complete the story of the walk at the beach. More often than not in a situation like that when I'm out with the camera it will be some small detail seen close-up or some fleeting candid moment that captures my attention. Then what I'll do after getting the "photo of opportunity" is to created the other point of views that which when added to the story before the close-up will give the close-up the needed context. The wide establishing shot that becomes the start of my series is often the last one I take because I've started close and back up for the med and wide views. I learned that trick shooting weddings for a master storyteller. We'd only take a few time exposures on a tripod during the ceremony during lulls in the action where there was little movement to set the scene. Then after the ceremony we'd go back up to the altar, by pre-arrangement, and recreate nicely flash lit medium and close-up shots of the key events like the ring exchange and the expressions on the faces (cut aways showing the bride as seen by the groom, etc.). When blended together in the album the wide, medium and close-up. The fact that many of the shots were staged after the fact wasn't obvious or even noticed because they told the story so effectively in a way that a person picking up the album 20 years later would be feel like they were watching the events unfold in person — as in a movie.... Hence the term "cinematic approach"... Feb 25, 2012 at 02:40 PM

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