wedding stress

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Archive 2011 · wedding stress

photolove84
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p.1 #1 · wedding stress

Do you ever beat yourself up over moments you didn't get that you have no control over? For example, the bride wants a picture of the groom looking at her as she's walking down the aisle. Trouble is, the groom never smiled when watching her walk down the aisle, so you just captured his strange bewildered face. Maybe he did smile, maybe the videographer caught it, but it was in the mili second that you were photographing her walking down the aisle, and the 3 times you turned to catch his face, he wasn't smiling? Am I crazy? Do I completely over analyze? Well that's what I thought in the past 3 years when I included important moments with not the best expressions, but I couldn't NOT include those moments and no one ever complained. But then tonight it happened. I received a complaint that the aunts and uncles bringing the gifts down the aisle, didn't look happy. What was I supposed to do? Stop the ceremony and tell a joke?

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:02 AM

jneilosu
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p.1 #2 · wedding stress

I don't include images that make anyone look awkward, unhappy, bored, whatever. And IF they ask me after not seeing a specific thing, I assure them I shot hard all day, and included every pleasant moment I came across in my culling.

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:11 AM

jneilosu
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p.1 #3 · wedding stress

But to be honest, no one has ever asked. That's just the strategy I have in place.

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:11 AM

swoop
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p.1 #4 · wedding stress

Images where people have weird expressions tick me off because most of the time they'd be perfectly great photos.

But you can't be responsible if people look miserable. It happens. It's also why I never photograph people while dinner is being served. Every time I 2nd shoot I get fussed into "You should be working." But people are eating. Who wants to be photographed while eating. What good photos have ever come out of people sitting down having dinner with spaghetti sauce on their chin. It doesn't work. And the mentality most people have when a camera is pointed at them is to stop what they are doing and smile. And people get annoyed if you photograph them while eating. It makes no sense.

Edited on Nov 17, 2011 at 03:18 AM · View previous versions

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:15 AM

deepbluejh
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p.1 #5 · wedding stress

All you can do is photograph what happens. Yes, it can be very frustrating, but there is nothing you can do about it. Some weddings turn out better than others, that's for sure.

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:18 AM

jcolman
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p.1 #6 · wedding stress

All my weddings are story book fairy land affairs. It's in my contract.

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:41 AM

joelconner
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p.1 #7 · wedding stress

take a photo of the groom smiling while looking down the aisle...such as when the bridal party is walking down. move it around in order of photos so that it looks like it was taken as she was walking down the aisle.

I have done it.

I know there are many who will think that is a horrible thing to do, but I am not a strictly documentary shooter. I have not lost any sleep over it, and I am sure I have had several brides who were just a little bit happier because they have that photo

*puts on flame retardant jacket in preparation of the coming FM inferno*

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:53 AM

TRReichman
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p.1 #8 · wedding stress

photolove84 wrote:
Do you ever beat yourself up over moments you didn't get that you have no control over?

Nope. My wife does though, all the time.

- trr

Nov 17, 2011 at 03:57 AM

TTLKurtis
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p.1 #9 · wedding stress

I get what I get and that's what I get. Weddings are not a portrait session.

Nov 17, 2011 at 04:33 AM

Mitch W
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p.1 #10 · wedding stress

Nov 17, 2011 at 05:17 AM

LivLif
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p.1 #11 · wedding stress

Nov 17, 2011 at 05:49 AM

kim magee
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p.1 #12 · wedding stress

she asked you to capture his expression...include it. No, not everyone smiles when they are coming down the aisle...heck, alot of brides dont...but you cant be the one in that moment to judge his expression - do you know him enough to say that a face that says he's not happy to be there...or is he just scared out of his wits that so many eyes on him and he's uncomfortable with that. I've had some grooms say they were just holding it together all they could so they wouldnt break down in front of everyone...etc...include the picture. The bride will know her man and you might be surprised at her reaction. Not everyone has a big happy smile in that moment, some are just to nervous. And some with a big happy smile are faking it too.

I had one recently when the groom looked like he was ready to puke and run...bride laughed so hard when she saw it..."oh that's so Andy"...

Dont sweat it...show the moment.

Nov 17, 2011 at 12:58 PM

hardlyboring
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p.1 #13 · wedding stress

I am more likely to beat myself up over a wedding that I feel like I under performed on as a whole. If it is just one shot or whatever I quickly swear at myself and then make a mental note to do it right the next time.
I have a harder time asking clients to be patient for their pictures when I am backed up like 5 weddings editing....
That is tougher than missing any shot.

Nov 17, 2011 at 01:04 PM

lisy78
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p.1 #14 · wedding stress

In my own wedding photos (until the reception) I look at times like I'm a dead fish, other times I look like I'm hating it and don't want to be there. Then they bring in my daughter and when I'm holding her I look like I'm having a good time.

As it turns out it's likely that when I'm nervous, in the middle of a religious ceremony, and I'm concerned I might not be standing in the spot I'm supposed to stand, facing the way I'm supposed to stand, and when I perceive that a whole bunch of people are looking at me... I look likea dead fish or that I'm hating and don't want to be there.

He he he.

Because of that realization, whenever I have a chance, while shooting the bridal party walking down the aisle I try to make minor chit-chat with the groom... telling him he looks totally GQ, Perfect, Go Get her... "it's just you and her, forget about everyone eles" you know.. encouraging stuff. I relay my own experience to the grooms before the wedding and I hope that helps.

While not every one of my grooms stood there sparkle in the eye with a look of awe on his face... I haven't had any scared dead fish either. So maybe it works.

That... plus what Joel said.

Nov 17, 2011 at 01:29 PM

khwaja
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p.1 #15 · wedding stress

Nov 17, 2011 at 02:05 PM

photolove84
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p.1 #16 · wedding stress

joelconner wrote:
take a photo of the groom smiling while looking down the aisle...such as when the bridal party is walking down. move it around in order of photos so that it looks like it was taken as she was walking down the aisle.

I have done it.

I know there are many who will think that is a horrible thing to do, but I am not a strictly documentary shooter. I have not lost any sleep over it, and I am sure I have had several brides who were just a little bit happier because they have that photo

*puts on flame retardant jacket in preparation of the coming FM inferno*

Yes, that's a great idea, and we've done that. We also make a point to joke with them any time of the day they look like they're thinking about other things, because I myself didn't look happy in a good number of my wedding photos, not because I wasn't happy, but because I was distracted with worrying about other crap. I'm not talking specifically about the groom staring at the bride walking down the aisle, in this case, the aunts and uncles presenting the gifts didn't look happy, and the bride DID complain. It could be anything, the first dance or parents dances when they cry and hold each other so tight and you can't see a face from any angle, or a bridesmaid that looks pissed as she's walking in to the reception, mom looks unhappy and she's lighting the unity candle, etc. Sure I always hope the bride understands we did the best we could, but I always worry that they might not understand. I've had brides complain about other people ruining the photos. I once had a bride complain that she was laughing in every picture of her dance with her dad because he wanted to be funny instead of sweet and she hates the way she laughs. But she wasn't mad at me for it. Now this bride asked me why I don't have a better picture where they look more pleasant. And all I can think to say is "because it didn't happy honey. I can't create moments that didn't exist!" Of corse I won't actually say that. It just gets to me sometimes. We had a wedding not too long ago that was so hectic and stressful I wanted to quit this job all together. Then the next few weddings were so awesome and the bride was so laid back and wonderful I couldn't imagine doing anything else.

Nov 17, 2011 at 02:29 PM

blueirisarts
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p.1 #17 · wedding stress

pre-game planning...

1.) contract states you "try" to get everything that they ask for.
2.) In-person meetings sure up methods and reasoning for how you try to get every shot.
3.) Take important shot list and do some prep work... "yo groom... don't forget to smile at the wifey!"
4.) Shoot your ass off.
5.) Feel no stress afterwards; you did your best.

Nov 17, 2011 at 04:02 PM

cordellwillis
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p.1 #18 · wedding stress

TTLKurtis wrote:
I get what I get and that's what I get. Weddings are not a portrait session.

^ This

I never worry about such things. I also never promise I will get a specific image. I let them know I will cover their wedding like the samples I've shown them. If someone isn't smiling at a key moment the image is what it is; obviously unless there is some really strange or bad look going on.

Nov 17, 2011 at 04:47 PM

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